The Other Side of Down
by LauGS
Summary: It's the first day of his senior year and Chris isn't sure if he'll be able to take another year of that hell. But when he's least expecting it, he finds someone who saves him from the darkness around him. Literally. CrissColfer Highschool!AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, everyone!**

**Welcome to my new story :) This one is a RPF, so if anyone isn't comfortable reading that kind of story, this is when you should stop reading and come back when I write more Klaine!**

**I wrote this story as a birthday present for my friend Brandi, who is always so wonderful and helpful. It's been finished for around two months now and I actually really like it. Let's hope you'll like it, too.**

**For plot purposes, Darren and Chris are the same age in this universe. **

**Thanks, as usual, to the amazing Wutif for her beta skills. She's the best! I'd be so lost without her!**

**Title is from David Archuleta's song. I don't own it!**

**I also don't own Chris and Darren, but let's hope they own each other, if you know what I mean ;)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The feeling of longing and nostalgia were immediate.

Darren slumped against the backseat of the car after the Golden Gate Bridge had shrunk too small into the distance to see it anymore. He sighed, still trying to adjust to the idea that he was leaving the city he loved to live in some little town where he wasn't even sure he would find a community theatre. And what was life worth without a community theatre?

No, seriously.

Darren was nothing if not a creative, hyper, eighteen year old boy who needed to be moving constantly, finding new stuff to do, singing at the top of his lungs. He wasn't sure he would find much to entertain himself with in a place like Clovis, California. But what could he do? His father had gotten a new job and the family needed to move. It was as simple as that.

Except it wasn't simple at all, because… that song, _I Left My Heart in San Francisco_? Yeah, totally accurate.

* * *

_I hate school._

_You can do it._

_But I still hate school._

_Doesn't matter. You'll be out of here soon._

_I can't do this. Not again. Not for another whole year._

_You're better than them. You're going to leave this town._

_I'm better than them._

_You'll get out of here and you'll never look back. You. Can. Do. This._

Chris Colfer was used to giving himself pep talks every morning, in front of the mirror to brace himself to face the day.

Wasn't he an idiot, still believing his own words, even though he knew he would have to admit how wrong he had been by the time he walked into the cafeteria for lunch?

"Christopher, you'll be late for your first day of school!"

His mother's voice sounded like a death sentence.

* * *

Darren had been right.

_Clovis, Gateway to the Sierras_, was written on almost every single sign in front of restaurants, buildings, the police station, the post office.

As he stood in front of his new house, he looked down the street, almost waiting for a tumbleweed to roll by, accompanied by the whistle of the wind.

* * *

He was a senior now.

They couldn't touch him.

He was a senior and most of his bullies had graduated last year and were already working at the gas station or the supermarket (places he carefully avoided).

He was a senior. Everything was going to be different, everything was going to…

Chris was shoved against a locker that slammed hard against his left shoulder.

Nothing had changed.

* * *

Darren walked into his new bedroom. It was still early in the morning and the sunlight fell on his unmade bed through the curtains and onto the horrible faded carpet, the color of which reminded him of a very cheap bottle of red wine. The walls were papered blue and up there, in the right corner, right above the closet door, the wallpaper was peeling off. Boxes of books, albums and magazines were scattered everywhere, left haphazardly by the moving men. He put his guitar case down gently and walked to the window.

Something seemed different here, different from San Francisco, from back home (would he ever stop thinking of San Francisco as his home?). He had the feeling his hazel eyes were looking for something specific, but he wasn't sure what it was.

He watched a big yellow school bus came down the street, stopping a few houses away for a couple of kids to climb in. It left soon enough, but not before Darren heard the chirpy, cheerful voices of dozens of children starting their days.

There was a knock on the door and he turned around. His father stood there, smiling, holding a box.

"I think this is yours," he said as he put it down on the floor. Darren could see his own messy handwriting, spelling out _Darren's stuff_ traced in black, thick letters.

"Thanks, Dad," Darren said with a reserved smile of his own. William Criss took a few steps towards him and put his hand on his shoulder, the left one, softly.

"I know you really loved San Francisco, Darren," he muttered slowly. "I'm sorry we had to leave."

"This is my last year of high school," Darren shrugged, as if it didn't matter. "I can always go back there next year, if I want to."

"I'm sure you can also see your friends on the weekends," William said, as his eyes looked through the window, too. "And you'll make new ones. Tons of them. You've never had trouble socializing. You're a very likeable guy."

Darren chuckled a bit at that. "Thanks, Dad," he responded. He sighed. He really needed to stop moping. "I actually think I'll go to school when I finish unpacking, at least to get settled in my locker and check the building and classrooms out while it's quiet. It'll be a lot easier than getting lost a million times tomorrow."

"I think that's a fantastic idea," William clapped his hands on Darren's shoulders and then started walking out of the room. "We can go out to get some dinner when you get back."

"Sure!" Darren answered, with as much enthusiasm as he could. "See you later, Dad."

When he was alone again, he looked around his room, wondering where to get started on making this place his home.

* * *

"Hey, Colfer, how's sex with men?"

Chris was sick of this, sick of everything, and it was only the first day.

"Don't you remember?" He called back over his shoulder, as he kept walking with his head held high.

_Bang_. Shoved again.

"You think you're so funny? Let's see if you think still it's funny after this…"

Suddenly everything had gone dark.

* * *

The hallways of Clovis East High School were deserted. Darren looked down at the paper with his locker number written on it for the hundredth time, still unable to recall it for longer than ten seconds. A cute brunette cheerleader ran by then, probably late for practice, and flashed him a quick smile, that Darren returned absently.

He had already checked at least half of the lockers in the school to try and find his when he turned the corner to find another hallway with more lockers. He checked the number on the first one. It said 1032. His was probably close by, because it was 1066.

The problem was that, when he found it, he realized that the door was rattling slightly. Darren blinked, confused, before pulling it open cautiously.

And then a body collapsed against him, throwing him off balance and knocking him straight to the floor.

He landed with a violent exhale as the boy (because it was another boy), fell on top of him, crushing his chest a little.

The boy tried to scramble off him as quickly as possible, but their legs had somehow tangled up together, and he only ended up tripping again, falling on Darren's chest again.

"Ooph," Darren hissed, breathless. He scrunched his face a little. "Man, you scared the shit out of me…"

A pair of wide, freaked out, intensely blue eyes looked right into his and Darren tilted his head to the side, suddenly, inexplicably intrigued.

"Hi," he said, with a little smile.

The boy pushed himself up fast, without saying anything, but he seemed to wince slightly.

"Are you okay? What were you doing hiding in my locker?" Darren asked perplexed.

"I was just… I'm fine. Thank you. I'm sorry I scared you," the boy took a few steps back, retreating from Darren. He had a crystalline voice, or that was at least the only word that came to Darren's mind when he tried to describe it. "Are _you_ okay?"

Darren jumped back up to his feet and picked up his bag, which he had dropped when the boy had flown out of the locker onto him. "Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry." Darren's smile went bigger. He extended his hand. "I'm Darren. I'm new in town."

The boy's gaze was almost suspicious, hesitant, but he finally slipped his hand into Darren's, although he shook it fast and then quickly let it go before Darren had even time to register what was happening. "I'm Chris. It was nice to meet you."

With that, Chris turned around to leave.

"Hey! Wait!" Darren said. "Would you mind…? I don't know anyone here. Can you maybe give me a little tour?"

Chris looked around anxiously, studying the empty halls. "I-I… I can't. I'm sorry. I have to go. I'm really late for… for a class."

"But… all the classes are over already," Darren frowned in confusion.

"I meant a tutoring class," Chris corrected quickly, but Darren wasn't so easily convinced. "I'm sorry."

Chris left before Darren could stop him again.

Darren stood in the middle of an empty hallway, completely shocked.

This was probably the first time he could remember that anyone seemed to dislike him.

That only made him feel more intrigued than he already was.

* * *

When Chris went to bed that night, with his muscles sore from being trapped in the same position for too long, he tossed and turned, dreaming he was trapped in a locker for hours, again, but this time no one found him.

This time, the air ran out.

This time, it ended.

* * *

By lunch time the next day, Darren had at least two different groups of people to choose to sit with. He had found easily someone to walk him to his classes when he didn't know where the classrooms were and a girl had already given him her phone number and asked him to call her.

As he was shoving a bunch of French fries into his mouth, he looked up to listen to what Casey, the pretty, blonde girl sitting in front of him, was saying.

Out the corner of his eye, he saw an almost empty table, in the far corner. The tables surrounding it were also empty, as if the only, lonely occupant had a contagious disease and needed to be isolated.

Darren recognized Chris, sitting alone. He was writing or doodling something in a notebook, pencil flying across the blank page.

Their eyes met, as if they could feel when the other was watching.

Darren smiled.

Chris didn't. He just looked down and kept moving the pencil, writing intently.

* * *

Darren walked into Math class the next day. The bell hadn't rung yet, but he was still getting lost so he preferred to be there rather early than tardy.

In one of the front desks, right in front of the teacher's desk, was Chris, with his notebook open again, his eyes fixed on what he was doing.

Darren slid into the seat next to his. "Hey!"

Chris startled and shrank a bit on the spot, before glancing at Darren, emotionlessly. "Hello."

"What are you doing?" Darren asked, peeking a bit at the notebook. Chris closed it abruptly.

"Nothing," he replied tersely, turning away from him a bit.

"Are you a writer?" Darren continued, because he had been able to see words scattered over the page. "That's really cool."

"I'm not. It's not." Chris was avoiding his eyes and Darren couldn't really understand why. Maybe Chris was exceptionally shy.

Darren picked at the corner of his desk, where there was a little dent, with his fingernail, absently. "So, uhm..."

"Hey, Darren!" The sound of voices and people coming into the classroom started to increase and Darren turned his head to the side to see one of the guys he had met the previous day, Damian, a tall football player that made Darren feel like a dwarf when they were standing too close, was looking at him with confusion. "Come on, man, we always sit at the back."

Darren thought he felt (or maybe he imagined it) Chris tensing a bit next to him. Darren glanced quickly back at him, but the boy had turned his back slightly, enough to block him from view. Darren sighed, picked up his things and walked to the back, dropping down on another seat next to Damian.

"Dude, what were you doing?" Damian asked and the almost horrified tone in his voice made Darren frown.

"What?"

"We don't talk to Colfer," Damian answered in a whisper that could be heard by the janitor one floor down. "He's a freak."

Darren quirked one of his very distinctive eyebrows, hiding it under the mess of curls falling on his forehead. "I'm sorry?"

"He's really weird and he's the resident faggot in town," Damian continued in his hushed, fake-low voice that carried throughout the room.

Darren looked around the classroom. The three or four seats closest to them were occupied by Damian's friends already and they had all leaned in closer to hear and laugh at his words. The teacher walked through the door then, shushing everyone and beginning the lesson.

All of the other seats were occupied and Darren couldn't move now. Chris' head was down and his back a little curved, as if he was trying to make a ball of himself and hide away from the rest of the world.

So Darren did the only thing he could do, at least for now: turned to the front and ignored Damian for the rest of the class.

* * *

Darren grabbed his tray, pizza balancing precariously with his water bottle and turned to scan the crowded cafeteria, moving away from the line so he wouldn't block it.

He saw Damian and Casey and some of the others gesturing at him, as if he couldn't see them, sitting at the very same table they sat at every single day.

Looking away from them, his eyes fell on the empty tables by the corner and the lonely figure scribbling in that notebook he seemed to carry everywhere. Darren kept his head high and advanced towards him.

Chris looked up slightly when he felt someone approach him. His blue eyes (or were they green?) seemed wary. He said nothing, his hand frozen, the movement of his pencil completely forgotten.

"Can I sit with you?" Darren asked.

Chris blinked, as if those words didn't even exist in his vocabulary. "Why? There're plenty of other places for you to sit."

Darren could feel all the eyes boring into the back of his head, he could hear the whispers, the questions.

"I still would like to sit with you, if you'll let me," Darren answered.

Chris held his gaze for what seemed forever and though Darren stayed calm, he was starting to feel exposed and uncomfortable. He was a teenager, after all, and humiliating himself wasn't the sort of ridiculous thing he liked to do in front of his classmates.

Finally, Chris nodded, very slowly, and let his eyes fall to his notebook.

Daren smiled, mostly in relief, and took a seat in front of the other boy. The first few minutes passed in silence and Darren focused on devouring his pizza slice and ignoring the scandalized whispers that were still reaching his ears. Chris hadn't even moved, but Darren could see his brow furrowing as the thoughts worked inside his head. He didn't say anything, though and allowed Chris to have his space.

"It's not going to do you any good," Chris finally muttered, his voice barely audible over the noise of the cafeteria.

"What?" Darren asked, uncapping his bottle of water.

"Sitting with me," Chris shrugged imperceptibly. "Talking to me. Being seen with me."

Darren took a sip of water. "Don't care."

"Then you're an idiot," Chris looked up, his blue or green (… or gray?) eyes shining with something that resembled fury. "It's obvious people like you, so there's no need for you to sit with the one person the entire school hates…"

"I think you're nice," it was Darren's turn to shrug. "What everyone else thinks is none of my business."

"They'll make it your business," Chris closed his notebook and shoved it into his bag. "You're the new guy and obviously you don't know how things work."

"I thought you were supposed to come to class, do your homework and pass your tests? Maybe your definition of school is different than mine," Darren answered nonchalantly.

Chris stood up and looked down at Darren. Was it sadness flashing across his face? Darren was unable to recognize it before it was gone.

"My definition says this place is hell," Chris mumbled. He sighed and avoided looking into Darren's eyes. For a second, it seemed as if he wanted to add something else, but then he turned around and simply walked out of the cafeteria.

Darren kept staring at the spot where he had disappeared until the bell rang.

* * *

Darren was walking across the parking lot at the end of the day when they met him.

"Hey, Darren," Damian said, his arms opened wide and a quizzical expression on his face. "What happened today?"

Darren tilted his head to the side. "I don't know what you mean." But of course he did.

"You sat with Colfer during lunch. I thought we were cool," Damian said, as he stopped in front of him. Casey, Jason and Kevin were behind him.

"I've never said we weren't. I just decided to sit with someone else today," Darren shrugged, as if it didn't matter.

"Yeah, but why with _him_?" Casey asked, disapproval causing her nose to scrunch.

Darren countered. "He's a nice guy."

The others exchanged bewildered looks.

"Listen guys, I have to go, I promised my brother I would call him when…"

"Okay, yeah. We'll see you tomorrow…"

Darren walked away, but Damian and his friends stayed behind, watching him go.

* * *

"You're not going to believe what happened to me in English today."

Chris looked up from his notebook, his eyes wide and surprised at Darren's sudden appearance. Darren had just dropped down on the seat in front of him with his tray (half the burger was _already_ in his mouth) and the words had just burst out of him.

"I, uhm." Chris seemed uncomfortable.

"So, my brother is in town. He lives in New York now," Darren started, as if they had casual conversations all the time. "And I didn't do any homework the entire weekend, so I asked him to write my English report while I did my Math homework."

Chris blinked at him.

"The teacher asked me to read it out loud today," Darren chewed on his burger. "And every five words, the next one was _poop_. Can you believe how immature he is? I started reading it without even paying attention to it and then everyone started laughing at me. I got an F."

As Darren kept shoving food into his mouth, Chris kept staring at him. It was weird, someone starting a conversation with him, someone expecting him to participate in it… someone actually trying to act like his friend?

"Don't you think it was also immature to ask your brother to write your report?" Chris decided to give it a try. He didn't even need to get really involved in it. He just needed to say a few things, use some sarcasm like he always did to keep people at a distance and then walk away when he was done eating.

It was simple.

Darren snorted. "Yeah, well, but he's older than me, so what he did is way worse."

Chris took a bite of his own burger, feeling a little self-conscious that Darren was watching him eat. "That sounded immature, too."

A little smile spread over Darren's lips and he nodded. After a few seconds, he nodded towards Chris' notebook. "Really, what's the deal with that? Are you writing something or…?"

Chris glanced at his notebook and closed it, hiding his hurried handwriting out of Darren's sight. "Sort of, yes."

"That's cool. I like writing songs," Darren said. "I heard there's a writer's club in this school. Maybe you should join."

Chris' pale cheeks blushed slowly. "I know there is. I'm the president of the club."

"Really? That's great! Can I join? How many members are there?" Darren's enthusiasm made the people from the nearest table snap their heads around to look at them.

Chris put his burger down. "I'm the only member."

Darren stared back in shock. "What? Dude, you can't have a club with only one member."

"No shit, Sherlock," Chris replied. He sounded incensed.

Without giving Darren much time to react, he stood up, grabbing his tray so brusquely that his juice box staggered on it and spilled the orange liquid all over Chris' chest. The stain was immediate in the light blue fabric.

He cursed under his breath before turning around and storming out of the cafeteria. Darren reacted when he saw him cross to the door and, abandoning his lunch, ran after him. He thought he saw him ducking into the nearest bathroom, so he followed.

"Whoa, are you okay?" He asked when he pushed the door open.

Chris was leaning against the sink, wetting a paper towel under the faucet. "Leave me alone, Darren."

"I don't know what I did to offend you, but I…"

"Just leave me alone!" Chris threw the paper towel against the mirror and turned back to look at Darren. "Why are you doing this? Why are you hanging around me? Did they send you?"

"Did _who_ send me?" Darren tilted his head to the side in confusion.

Chris was having trouble breathing. Why was Darren so infuriating? "You're blind, aren't you? Look, I don't know how things were at your old school, but it's clear it was really different from this. Or that you're not used to being around the outcasts. So do yourself a favor and go back to befriending the jocks and the popular kids."

Darren sighed sadly. "But I want to be _your_ friend."

"And why the hell would you want something like that?" Chris exclaimed, shocked.

"Because no one should be alone," Darren answered bashfully.

Chris' heart threatened to jump out of his chest. "I don't need your pity."

"I call it decency," Darren shrugged. "Everyone needs a friend. I'm willing to be yours."

Chris' breathing was ragged and hard now. "I don't need that either. I don't need anything."

Darren still looked sad. "Everyone needs something."

_I need to leave._

_Leave Clovis behind._

_I need to be free._

"Not me," Chris said, stubbornly.

The bell rang before either of them could say another word.

* * *

It seemed as if Darren had gotten the message because he hadn't approached Chris all week. He told himself he should feel relieved about it, but something was nagging him, right in the back of his mind, a constant presence that he couldn't seem to get rid of.

Chris opened his locker at the end of the day on Friday, putting the books he wouldn't need during the weekend in there and exchanging them for the ones he needed for homework into his bag. He smiled at the picture of his sister smiling back at him from the metallic, cold door of the locker. Weekends were Hannah and movie marathons and ice-cream and rolling around on the grass with their dogs. Weekends were the closest thing Chris had to happiness.

The little oasis of comfort he had built in his head the past two minutes exploded into fractured shards when the shove came. It was a little beneath his right shoulder this time, and it caused him to spin, dropping his books, notebooks and pens pretty much everywhere. His back hit the corner of the open locker, leaving him one more bruise to add to the list.

"See you on Monday, homo!"

Darren turned around the corner in that precise moment. He couldn't see the face of the guy who caused Chris to be splayed against his locker, with his stuff scattered at his feet, but he knew what had happened as soon as his eyes fell on the other boy.

Chris inhaled and exhaled quietly for a second, to calm down, to swallow down the anger. Then he leaned down and started picking his things up, only his hands weren't the only pair trying to gather the books and pens and sheets of paper everywhere.

"You don't need to do this…"

"I want to."

"Darren…"

"Chris, you'll be out of here quicker if I help you. Now shut up."

They stood up and Chris awkwardly took the things Darren had picked up, putting them back in his bag.

"Thank you," he muttered and Darren simply nodded.

"Are you okay?" Darren asked, brow furrowed in concern.

Chris shrugged. Darren understood.

Darren seemed to want to know more (_who did this? How often does it happen? Does anyone know they're doing this to you? Have you talked to someone?_), but he didn't ask, which Chris was grateful for.

"Do you mind if I walk you outside?" Darren burst out then, trying to go back to his usual enthusiastic self. "I was actually looking for you."

Chris knew why he wanted to walk him out. He knew the real reason, but he said nothing. "Yeah, sure. What's going on?"

Only when Darren took it from under his arm did Chris realize he was holding what looked like a folded poster. He unfolded it quickly, showing him a blue background with the picture of a pencil and a notebook, black letters outlined the words _Join the Writer's Club, It's the Write Decision_.

Chris blinked, incredulous. "What is this?"

"Duh, dummy, it's our poster to get new members for the club," Darren rolled his eyes. "I spent all week thinking of a design and then asked a friend from back home to do it for me. He's great with computers and drawings and stuff. What do you think?"

Chris was speechless. His eyes wandered over the print, the lines, the words. "I… it's really nice, Darren."

"I left a blank space here because you never told me when we meet," Darren pointed at the bottom of the poster. "I thought we could add it ourselves. We can make more if you like it…"

Chris swallowed. A lump had formed in his throat and he wasn't sure how or when. He went for the only thing he felt safe with. Sarcasm. "The _Write_ Decision? Really, Darren?"

Darren used his free hand to scratch at the back of his head, absently, making his curls shake a little bit. "Well, yeah… I thought it was kind of clever and fun… But we can totally change it if you don't like it."

Chris smiled disarmingly. It was the first sincere smile Darren had seen on his face. "It's great."

"Awesome. Now, come on, Mr. President," Darren grinned cheekily, "let's get out of here and talk about our next meeting. You have to tell me all about it. Are you up for some coffee?"

Chris' hands tightened around the strap of his bag. "I… yeah, yeah, okay."

They walked out of school together.

"We meet at the coffee place or we go together?" Chris asked, fidgeting a bit with his keys.

"Let's go together. I don't have a car," Darren answered, following him to Chris' blue car, parked almost at the end of the lot.

"Didn't pass the test?" Chris said, only because he wanted to create a conversation.

"Yeah, I did. But when I lived in San Francisco I liked to ride a bike or walk around," Darren shrugged and climbed into the passenger seat as Chris sat in the driver's side. "It helps the environment and all that crap."

"Are you some kind of hippy or something?" The corners of Chris' lips turned up a little.

Darren chuckled. "I don't know man. I mean, I'm all for that _let's make love not war _thing, and I love being barefoot and I certainly have the hair to be hippy, but…"

Chris pulled out of the parking lot, driving towards the mall, which was the only place with a decent coffee shop. "So why are you in Clovis? Who the hell leaves a bigger city like San Francisco to come to this place?"

"Well, we had to move because of my dad's job. I wasn't really happy with the change, but, what can I do?" Darren cracked open the window and the wind started messing his dark curls around. "Have you ever been there?"

"No," Chris answered. He hadn't been anywhere. He was a prisoner in this little town.

"We should totally go together someday," Darren leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, enjoying the breeze.

Chris stopped at a red light just around the corner from the mall and looked at Darren, unable to understand. "How are you even real?"

"What?" Darren asked, but he was smiling.

"I'm serious," Chris muttered, his attention back to the road. "I've never met someone like you. You're so… carefree? I don't know if that's the word I'm looking for."

"I think I'm just… honest," Darren said, thoughtful.

Chris nodded, unsure of what else to say. They walked into the mall, Chris moving awkwardly beside him, making sure to keep a certain distance. Darren, though, had a different idea.

He threw his arm around Chris' shoulders, causing the slightly taller boy to flinch a bit, unused to the contact. "How are the cookies in this place? Because I really, really want one."

Yeah, Darren was the weirdest guy Chris had ever met.

* * *

Darren went to bed that night with a smile on his face.

It had only taken getting Chris out of school for the boy to relax, to be more open to a conversation, to smile a bit more. Maybe they could end up being friends, after all.

And Darren knew exactly what he had to do.

* * *

Chris sat at his computer that night, ready to write for hours like he always did on Fridays. But he couldn't concentrate even if he tried.

It had been an unusual day.

No one ever talked to him if they could avoid it.

No one ever invited him out for coffee.

No one wanted to be seen with him.

And Darren had broken all of those boundaries people had built around him, just a couple of weeks after meeting him for the first time.

Maybe there still was a bit of hope for this year. Maybe it wasn't going to suck so bad.

Maybe he could still have a friend.

* * *

"Darren, no one is going to come…"

"We still have three minutes left!"

"No one came in a whole hour. I'm sure it's not because they're excessively late."

"Maybe we just need to hang more posters…"

Chris slammed his pen against the desk and it sounded a lot louder than he expected, making Darren jump a bit. "Don't be naïve, Darren. People won't join the Writer's Club because I'm in it."

Darren rolled his eyes. "Stop trying to blame everything on you…"

Chris huffed in annoyance and started picking his things up. "This is ridiculous. I'm going home."

"You can't go home! You're the president! The meeting is not over yet!" Darren crossed his arms over his chest and nodded towards the clock on the wall.

"Well, I'm saying it is," Chris walked towards the door, but Darren stepped in front of him, blocking the exit. "Remember how we talked about how immature you are? It's showing again."

"I don't care. I don't want you to give up on this," Darren said calmly.

"I'm not giving up on this. I haven't given up on this since I started it sophomore year. And I'm still the only damn member," Chris replied, trying to push Darren out of the way. "So come on, just let me go."

"I'm sorry. Only member?" Darren quirked an eyebrow. "What am I supposed to be?"

"Someone who's here just to be nice," Chris sighed. He knew that. There was no other reason why Darren would be doing this. "But you'll leave eventually. Everyone does."

"Shut up," Darren extended his arms to hold on to the wall behind him so Chris couldn't move him out of place. "Wait… what do you mean? It wasn't always only you?"

"There were two girls at some point," Chris shrugged, trying to disregard it as if it wasn't important, but something told Darren it actually was.

"What happened?"

"Nothing… they just, you know, were very rudely reminded that I was a freak, so if they hung out with me, they were freaks, too." Chris' eyes went up to the ceiling. There was a piece of chewing gum glued to it. He wondered how it had gotten there. "And you should quit this, too."

"Because it's not going to do any good to my reputation?" Darren snorted. "You've said that so many times that it has lost meaning."

"You're so irritating," Chris leaned back against the nearest desk.

Darren grinned, triumphantly. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm super cute and you know it."

"And modest. Don't forget about that."

"Oh, I won't. It's one of my biggest qualities."

"Ugh, I just can't with you." Chris looked up at the clock. "There. It's been exactly an hour. Can we go now?"

"Sure," Darren grabbed his bag and they both walked out of the classroom. "I still think we need more posters."

"We'll need to bribe people if we want them to join, Darren," Chris replied, as they walked towards their lockers. "And even that won't work."

"You're as positive as a ray of sunlight, Colfer."

Chris stopped at his locker. Darren leaned against the one next to it. Chris knew he stayed close just in case someone came to take advantage of the empty hallways and he didn't know if he felt grateful or embarrassed.

Darren started babbling about the ton of homework he needed to get done for the next day when they heard footsteps coming down the hall and they both turned around to see who it was. Damian and Casey were walking, hand in hand, straight to them.

Chris pretended he hadn't even seen them. He focused on the books he was putting back into his locker, carefully angling his shoulders, ready for the blow, so he could avoid hitting all of the sore spots.

"Hey dude," Damian stopped right in front of Darren. "How is it going? I haven't seen you at all today."

"Oh, Chris and I were busy planning what we're doing for the Writer's Club," Darren answered enthusiastically. Chris winced, but the other three were ignoring him.

"The Writer's Club? Really? That's stupid," Damian said in a mocking tone. "Anyway, what are you doing on Saturday night?"

"Nothing that I know of, why?" Darren seemed oblivious to the way Chris had tensed next to him.

"My parents are going away for the weekend," Casey explained. "So I'm having a party. Are you in?"

"Yeah, sure, we'll stop by," Darren smiled at them.

Damian and Casey exchanged a glance. Chris froze even more.

"_We_?" Damian repeated, confused.

"Yeah, we," Darren gestured between Chris and him. "It'll be fun, right, Chris?"

Chris kept ignoring him, as if he was hoping his silence would make Darren forget he was even there.

"Okay…" Damian said, with a pinch of hesitance. Casey started tugging on his arm. "See you."

It was only when the hallway was deserted again that Chris turned to look at him, eyes wide, as if Darren had lost his mind.

Which is exactly what he said.

"Have you lost your mind?"

"Come on, it could be fun!" Darren smiled that stupid smile that split his face in two and Chris wished he could punch it away.

"No, it's not going to be fun! Do whatever you want to do. I'm not going."

Chris slammed the locker shut and started walking down the hallway towards the exit. Darren rushed to catch up with him.

"Wait, at least listen to what I want to say..." Darren took his elbow and made him stop. Chris jerked his arm away as his instincts kicked in. Darren swallowed but pretended he didn't see how the motion was accompanied by a flash of something in his eyes that he didn't have time to recognize. He took a step back to give Chris some space before continuing. "Chris, you're a really cool guy..."

Chris snorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"No, really. I think you're cool," Darren insisted in earnest. "You're funny and witty and smarter than anyone I've met before. But no one knows that, because they've never had a chance to see any of those things."

Chris' eyes narrowed. Darren kept talking before he had time to say anything.

"I think it would be a good idea for them to see you outside school," he started walking to his locker, just to have something to do, because he couldn't stand the way Chris was looking at him right now. "Maybe it would make things easier for you. And we can just stay for like, an hour and if you're not comfortable or having fun, we'll go. I promise."

Chris balanced his weight from one foot to the other as he awkwardly watched Darren grab a Math book and put it in his bag after looking at it with disdain.

The idea of things being easier (and anything, any improvement would be good at this point) was tempting. It was true that everyone seemed to like Darren (what was not to like? A little voice in the back of his head said) and Chris knew that his chances of taking a few steps up in the status quo of this school had never existed until now. Damian and Casey hadn't even dared to say no to Darren when he said he was taking Chris.

Chris imagined a future in which locker shoves and bruises and name-calling didn't exist and, he had to be honest, he loved the idea of that world.

"Fine," he agreed and the smile immediately spreading on Darren's lips made it a little bit more worth it. "One hour. That's all I'm giving you."

"That's all I need," Darren clapped, happily.

Chris should've known better.

* * *

**So there it is! What did you guys think? It feels good coming back to CrissColfer!**

**I have no idea when the next chapter will be up. I'm still going crazy with school work and my beta has a lot going on right now. The good thing is, as this story is already finished, the wait is already cut in half. So let's just hope it'll be soon! :)**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts about this!**

**See you again next chapter!**

**L.-**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello!**

**I wasn't supposed to update today because I should be studying :P but hey, it's CrissColfer day, so any excuse to celebrate is a good excuse.**

**Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews you left for the first chapter! I'm so happy you guys liked it so far!**

**I forgot to say that this is, actually, a one-shot that turned out to be VERY long to post in only one part so, instead, it's going to be a short story. It's going to be five chapters long :)**

**Thanks to my beautiful beta, Wutif, for her help, as usual. **

**I own nothing, but I wish I would!**

**Enjoy and Happy CrissColfer Day! :)**

* * *

The next day they went out for coffee after school again and, while Darren sat back against the booth and relaxed, he noticed a sunbeam falling right on Chris' face.

That was the first time he thought the word _beautiful_ when he looked at his new friend.

* * *

A couple of days later, they were talking at Darren's locker, killing time between one class and the next. Darren said something silly again and Chris laughed.

He laughed in a way Darren had never seen him before. It was so carefree, so innocent, so adorable, with his nose all scrunched and his eyes closed, his cheeks blushing, his lips curled into a smile as the delicious sound escaped through them.

That was the second time Darren thought the word _beautiful_ when he looked at his new friend.

* * *

On Thursday, they shared a PhysEd class.

Darren couldn't help staring at Chris' skin glistening with sweat.

Had the boy always been so pale? Because it was the first time Darren had noticed. He suddenly had an impulse to press his hand against Chris' back to see the contrast between their skin…

His dazed admiration of Chris' skin was rudely interrupted by the teacher's blast of a whistle nearly into his ear to penetrate his befuddlement.

That was the third time Darren thought the word _beautiful_ when he looked at his new friend.

* * *

Darren woke up in the middle of the night that Friday, without knowing what had woken him until he realized he was ragingly hard. And then he remembered the dream he had been having and he felt guilty because Chris was his friend and where the hell were these thoughts coming from?

He shifted under his sheets, trying to get comfortable, trying and failing to fall asleep again, getting more and more frustrated with every minute and every tick of the clock.

Finally, with an irritated groan, he shoved his underwear down his thighs and fisted his erection furiously. It only took a few strokes for him to come hot and hard all over his stomach with Chris' name echoing in the dark around him.

He moaned in confusion and almost instantly fell back asleep.

* * *

Chris couldn't remember buying all these blue t-shirts. He glared at the pile of them on his bed and turned back to his closet, looking for something else to put on.

This party had his nerves on edge. If anyone had asked him why he was considering doing something he was sure he wouldn't enjoy, his answer would've been that he wanted to try and make some good memories of high school before he graduated.

But, inside, he knew the real answer.

He was going because Darren had asked him to.

Darren was the first friend he'd had in years. He was someone who didn't laugh at Chris' passion for writing, who didn't mock him for his ridculously high voice, who didn't call him Casper because of how pale he was. It was nice having someone to walk down the halls with, someone he could talk to everyday during lunch. To have someone who, for the first time in his eighteen years of life, seemed to want to get to know and understand him.

That was incredibly precious to Chris.

But that didn't really explain why finding the perfect thing to wear suddenly seemed so important.

He had always been a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy. It attracted less attention and it was also comfortable. But tonight…

"Going somewhere?" A voice behind him said and Chris spun around to find his mother leaning against the doorway.

"Oh, hey," Chris stood awkwardly there, holding a green button down and an old black t-shirt in each hand. "I'm going to a party tonight, so I'm deciding what to wear."

His mother's eyes travelled around the messy room. "Having trouble deciding, I'd say," she commented, taking a few steps in and critically studying the pile of clothes on her son's bed. "Do you need help?"

"No, it's fine," he sighed, frowning as he examined the shirts he had in hand.

She stood there, silent for a moment, until she seemed to gather enough courage to ask what she had been obviously thinking about since entering the room. "It's unusual," she said and when Chris looked up at her, she continued, "you going to a party, I mean. You've always said they weren't worth your time…"

_Because no one ever invited me to one before_. "I just thought I should go to at least one before high school ends."

"That's great, sweetheart. I was actually going to tell you we were going to the movies and that you could join us, but I think it's wonderful that you'll be having fun with your friends instead," she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

Chris smiled uncomfortably, without knowing how to respond to his mother's words. "Maybe I'll catch a movie with you guys some other time."

"Of course," and after reminding him to drive safely and not drink, she left, closing the door behind her. Chris heard the front door and the engine of the car only moments later.

After a few more minutes of deliberation, Chris picked out one of the many blue t-shirts and threw a black cardigan on top. He had just started looking for his Converse, trying to remember where he had kicked them to when he took them off earlier, when the bell rang downstairs.

Huffing under his breath, he jogged down the stairs towards the door.

When he opened the door to find Darren there, it was like being hit by a truck, a train and a bus all at the same time. Air abandoned his lungs as he stared at Darren, standing there with his curls casually disordered, his white V-neck and the leather jacket on top. Chris' eyes started blinking uncontrollably and he was convinced his brain was short-circuiting.

"Well, hello to you too," Darren smiled cheekily.

"Hi," Chris murmured soundlessly. He shook his head a bit and immediately tried to come up with an excuse for his staring. "I... Didn't know that was how I was supposed to dress. I look like a grandpa."

He regretted saying that as soon as Darren's hazel eyes started moving slowly over his body, pausing occasionally in his inspection. Chris bit his lip and tugged at the hem of his sweater, nervously. He obviously needed more practice at this whole dressing-up-for-parties thing.

"Okay, yeah, I'll go get changed," he muttered. He turned to return to his room, but was stopped by a hand closing on his wrist. He looked up surprised.

"Don't," Darren said, his voice soft, but his face serious. "You look great just like this."

Chris swallowed and nodded, not sure how to react to the compliment, at the same time he wondered how was it that Darren's hold hadn't made him jump like every time anyone else touched him.

"I have to find my shoes. Do you want to wait here or come with me?" He asked.

"I'll go with you," Darren shrugged, back to normal. "I want to go through your stuff while you're distracted."

"Jerk," Chris rolled his eyes, but made his way back upstairs, followed closely by Darren.

"There's no one else home?" Darren stopped for a moment to look at a picture of Chris and Hannah when they were kids.

"No, they went to the movies," Chris replied, pushing the door to his room open. "I'm sorry about the mess." He started picking up the clothes that were scattered all over the place.

"Mess?" Darren snorted. "You should see _my_ room, dude."

"I don't need to. I've seen your locker."

"My locker is perfectly organized!" Darren crossed his arms over his chest, pretending to be offended.

"Yeah, right," it was Chris' turn to snort. "I'm pretty sure you have a family of rats living in there."

"You're just jealous because you don't have pets in your locker," Darren replied, arrogantly.

Chris chuckled. "Oh shut up, Dare."

The way Darren immediately tilted his head to the side made Chris feel awkward and uncomfortable.

"What?" Why was Darren looking at him like that?

"Nothing," Darren smiled, very slowly. "No one ever called me Dare before. I'm usually just Darren or 'hey you, short guy.'"

"I'm sorry," Chris quickly interjected. "I didn't know it bothered you. I won't..."

"No, no," Darren interrupted, smiling wider. "I like it."

They stared at each other for a moment and then Chris had to look away. He had to. Darren's hazel eyes were incredibly bright.

Chris turned to go through his closet, trying to find his shoes, while Darren flipped through a magazine he found on the bedside table. Finally, when there was no other place left to search, Chris kneeled on the floor and peeked under the bed.

Darren glanced up from the magazine in that moment and felt like something heavy hit him in the stomach. He had a nice close-up of Chris' jean-covered ass and had to use all his willpower not to gasp. It didn't do anything to calm the impure thoughts and fantasies he'd been having. Actually, it added a few more.

Darren was about to listen to his impulses and tackle Chris to the floor to kiss him senseless when Chris finally exclaimed in victory and grabbed his shoes from under the bed.

Chris sat on the edge of the bed to put them on. "Okay, I'm ready. Should we go now?"

Darren swallowed hard, still trying to remind himself that _this is your friend, this is your friend, stop thinking with your dick…_ "Yeah, sure."

Even though the night was quite chilly, Darren kept his window all the way down while he drove to Casey's place in his father's car. Chris frowned at him, but said nothing and entertained himself changing the radio stations until he found one he liked.

Casey's house was on the edge of Clovis, where the bigger houses were. Hers was probably the biggest in her street, which seemed ridiculous to Chris because he knew she was an only child and their parents travelled a lot because of work. What did they need such a big place for? Darren parked the car in a free spot two houses down and climbed out, while Chris took a steadying breath. He had nothing to worry about. It would all be fine.

When they got to the door, Chris extended his hand to ring the bell, since he was closer to it, but Darren touched his wrist to stop him.

"Dude, there's no point in ringing the bell, no one is going to hear you," he said and Chris had to admit he was right: the volume of the music blasting from inside was insane. Darren pushed the door opened to reveal a crowded hall.

Chris felt overwhelmed as soon as he stepped inside and instinctively stuck closer to Darren. He didn't recognize the song resounding against the walls. It had a constant, electro beat.

"Would you like to get a drink or something?" Darren asked, almost having to shout into his ear.

Chris nodded. "No alcohol, though, right?"

"Not if you don't want to," Darren started walking along the hall, probably looking for the kitchen or wherever they had set up the bar.

"Are you going to have alcohol?" Chris wanted to know, biting his lip.

"I was thinking about maybe having one beer, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then I'll have a soda or something instead," Darren shrugged as they entered the kitchen. There was a topless girl sitting on the counter shaking a drink mixer and a lot of other people around her, chanting something Chris couldn't understand.

"You can do whatever you want," he said as softly as the music allowed him to.

Darren grabbed two cans of Coke from a bucket with ice on the floor, ignoring the noisy group vying for their attention. "Let's get out of here."

Chris didn't know where Darren was going, but he followed anyway. A few people high-fived Darren or said something in passing, but no one talked to Chris. He was invisible, like he always was in the hallways at school, except when he was being shoved around. It was as if Darren was walking alone across the house. It was as if he didn't exist. Normally, he was happy to go unnoticed, but now… he was at a party, his first high school party. It should be different.

They went into the living room, by far the most crowded place in the house. People were dancing and talking in loud voices and laughing and Chris kept looking around uneasily, not sure what he was doing there. This wasn't his thing. It had never been. Where were his computer, his ideas, his writing? Where were his books and his musicals and his sister? Why was he even here?

He was here because of Darren, he remembered, when he felt Darren's warm body leaning closer to his, and somehow that made sense, as if being near Darren was a good reason to do anything.

"Wanna dance?" Darren asked, again talking directly into his ear.

Chris' eyes went wide. "What? With you?"

"Yeah," Darren nodded towards what seemed to have become the dance floor.

_I can't dance with a boy in front of all of these people_, Chris thought, desperately. _I can't do this…_

"I don't dance," he blurted in answer and thought Darren looked a bit disappointed. "It's impossible to breathe in here…"

"Let's go somewhere else, then," Darren said and, before Chris could stop him, he grabbed his hand and tugged at it, dragging him towards an open French door. It led to a backyard, but the only other person there was a girl who seemed to have passed out on a chaise-lounge by the huge pool.

Chris dragged in a long breath, grateful to have escaped the crowd.

"We can go if you're not happy here, you know," Darren said, his eyebrows scrunched together under the messy curls falling on his forehead, concern evident in his face. "We don't have to stay. We could go watch a movie or something."

"It's fine, really. It was too crowded and I couldn't breathe inside, but it's really nice out here," Chris looked up. The sky was starry, but the night was cool and breezy.

Darren gave him a can of Coke, smirking. "That's because there's no one else here, Chris. I can see how uncomfortable you are. If this wasn't a good idea, I want you to tell me."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Well, of course I feel uncomfortable. I don't know what to do at parties…"

"Well, normally you interact with people…"

"People look right past me…"

"You have a drink…"

"I'm not going to get drunk and pass out as unglamorously as that girl over there…"

"And you dance."

Chris blinked. "I'm too awkward to dance. And dancing alone is stupid."

"I didn't say you had to dance alone. I asked you to dance with me, didn't I?" Darren extended his hand to him, but Chris looked at it as if he had never seen a hand before.

"I'm not going to dance with you, Darren."

"Why not?" Darren pouted and _fuck_, why did he have to be so damn adorable?

"Because… I just can't. And you know that," Chris sighed. He was starting to feel irritated. He wanted to go home. Coming here had been an awful idea.

"I swear I'm not going to step on your feet," Darren insisted, winking his eye at him. "You can punch me if I do."

"Darren…" Chris' voice had an edge of warning and he hoped Darren noticed and simply dropped it.

He didn't.

"Chris, come on, I want you to have some fun…"

"I'm not going to dance with you, Darren!" Chris said, a little louder than he intended. "You're a guy and I know where this would end if I dance with you at a party full of the idiots who call me a fag before they shove me around and lock me up inside lockers and bathrooms!"

Darren's face had gone pale and serious. Chris' breath was heaving and he didn't understand why he was getting so worked up. He needed to calm down.

"I'm sorry," Darren whispered, regretfully, his hazel eyes falling to the floor. "I just wanted you to have fun. I'll take you home if you want…"

Chris had never seen Darren like that, contrite and uncomfortable. It seemed as if the bright spirit inside him had dimmed a bit. He didn't like it.

Chris sighed and took a step forward, raising his hand to squeeze Darren's shoulder. "It's fine. I just… Dare, this place is not like San Francisco. I know you mean well, but if I dance with you…"

"But you want to?" Darren asked, lifting his eyes up, fixing them on Chris'. They were bright and hopeful. Chris' heart did a crazy little jump inside his chest.

"Yes, I want to," he answered, a bit breathless, before he could even think about what he was saying.

They were standing closer now, but neither remembered exactly how that had happened. If dancing was a bad idea, kissing was completely out of the question, but then, why were they staring at each other's lips as if they were everything they needed to keep on living?

Chris' grip on Darren's shoulder tightened and that was the only sign his body gave him that he needed to stop this. The rest of him was melting in the heat of Darren's eyes. One of Darren's curls moved a bit with the breeze and tickled the tip of his nose. Darren moved imperceptibly closer…

"Darren, I was looking for you and I… whoa."

They snapped their heads to the side so quickly they were surprised they didn't break their necks. Damian was standing by the French door, looking at them in shock. They glanced back at each other. Darren's eyes were wide and startled, as if he couldn't believe this had been about to happen. Chris let him go and took a few steps back, his heart racing.

"So, uhm… Casey found a guitar in the basement and thought you might wanna play a few songs…" Damian said, his face completely blank.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, I'll be there in a minute…" Darren replied, and his voice didn't sound at all like his. Damian nodded and turned around, leaving them alone again.

Chris was close to a panic attack.

Darren's eyes were still wide with shock.

"Chris, I…"

"No, no, just… no," Chris covered his face with his hands. What had they done? Or, more precisely, what had they been about to do? And Damian had seen them. Monday was going to be hell…

"Please, don't hide. Let's talk about this…" Darren tried to get closer to him and touch his hand, but Chris took a step back, almost tripping over the edge of the pool.

"No. No, please, don't, Darren…" Chris swallowed and avoided looking at his friend. "I need you to give me a second…"

"I'll take you home," Darren said firmly, leaving no room for discussion. "I'll take you home and you'll be more comfortable there. Can we talk at your place?"

Chris just nodded, because he didn't know what else to do, because he couldn't understand what was happening. Darren nodded back.

"I'll go let them know we're leaving. Do you want to wait for me here or are you coming with me?"

"I'll wait here," Chris retorted immediately. The idea of going back into the house terrified him. What if Damian had already told everyone what he had seen?

"Okay," Darren eyed Chris for just one more second, before turning around and leaving him alone.

Chris started hyperventilating as soon as Darren went back into the house. He paced along the edge of the swimming pool, trying to repress the voices in his head that were asking him if he had gone completely nuts. Hadn't he learnt anything? High school was his personal hell, and yet here he was: Saturday night, at the house of one of the people who had been tormenting him for years, at a party where no one wanted him. And he had almost kissed his best friend.

The only friend he had.

What the hell was wrong with him?

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

_Crap_.

Chris turned around in a flash. He recognized the voice all too well. It had been taunting him for years.

He stayed silent. There was nothing to say.

"How do you dare come to our party and try to ruin it? You're fucking disgusting…" Damian took a few steps closer. Chris found himself wondering where Darren was. "And you're not only forcing us to have you here even though you know everyone hates you, but then you try to hustle Darren…"

"I-I didn't… it wasn't like that…" Chris mumbled, intimidated by the way Damian kept advancing towards him and still a little confused by everything that had happened.

"You think I didn't see it?" Damian's voice rose and Chris felt it vibrating through his nervous system. "You were holding him in place! You were forcing yourself on him like the disgusting fag you are!"

"No, no, I wasn't!" Chris exclaimed, desperately.

"Do you think I didn't see the revolted look on his face when I found you?" Damian was close. Too close. Chris couldn't breathe and he had nowhere to run. He was trapped. "Not everyone is as sick as you are…"

"I'm _not_ sick!" Chris said. He formed fists with his hands to stop them from shaking. "And I wasn't doing anything to Darren. We were just…"

"Don't even try to explain to me what perverted shit you were trying to do him, queer!" Damian screamed and Chris noticed a few people had started to come out to see what the commotion was about. He felt his face going red in humiliation. "You're nothing but an abomination and you don't deserve to live!"

Chris' chest had tightened and he couldn't breathe. The only strength he had left was being used to stop himself from crying because he was sure as hell not going to break down in front of all these idiots…

He should've guessed what would happen next. He shouldn't have felt surprised at all when he felt Damian's hands against his shoulder, or when he lost his balance or when the icy cold water of the pool smacked his body like an iceberg. The sound of their laughter shouldn't have stung so badly…

He gaped and desperately tried to surface, but that only caused him to swallow water, the cold invading his lungs, making him choke and cough. For a moment, he thought about letting go. Why fight it? His life was nothing but a nightmare. He heard the taunting voice in his head again as he floated still in the water. _You're nothing but an abomination and you don't deserve to live… _

A distant scream penetrated his haze of confused thoughts.

"What the fuck are you all doing just standing there? Help him! Chris!"

It was Darren. Who else would it be? The rest of them were just laughing, not caring that Chris was suddenly giving up.

A hand closed around the collar of his jacket, pulling him up toward the edge of the pool. Chris started coughing, as an arm wrapped around his waist, dragging him out of the water and laying him down on the ground.

"Chris? Chris, are you okay?" Darren came into sight, although he was blurry, grabbing Chris' face between his hands. Chris kept coughing, twisting to his side and out of Darren's grip, spewing water from his nose and mouth. "Come on, come on. Spit it all out…"

"This is _so_ going on YouTube…" Casey crowed, as she held her phone up, obviously recording the whole thing, an eager light shining in her eyes.

Darren's hands were suddenly gone. Chris barely noticed as Darren stood up and crossed the yard towards her. He snatched the phone out of her hands and hurled it right into the pool. Casey yelped in astonished outrage.

"Hey! Darren, what the fuck?" Damian yelled, getting between them.

"You're all nothing but a bunch of assholes who can't see someone extraordinary even when he's standing right in front of you! And if you weren't so busy being jerks you would realize he's a person, god fucking damn it! He's a_ person_! You can't treat a person like this!" Darren screamed, getting right up into Damian's face, and even though he was several inches shorter, no one noticed the difference then. Darren's fury made him seem so much bigger.

Damian quirked an eyebrow cooly at him, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing. Then he glanced up. "Nice speech, Prince Charming, but your gay damsel in distress is running away."

Darren spun around to see that the spot where Chris had been lying was deserted. A trail of water made its way into the house, but there was no sign of the boy.

"Shit," Darren muttered and started running towards the front door, not caring that everyone's eyes followed him. The door was wide open, but when he emerged from the house, he couldn't see Chris anywhere. How had he disappeared so fast? "Chris! Chris, where are you?"

He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and climbed into his car. As soon as he turned the engine on, he started following the trail of wet pavement that Chris had left behind. Darren had never felt so horrified in his whole life. What the hell had he done? How could he have been so stupid? Chris had warned him and he hadn't listened and then they almost kissed and… Darren took a deep breath. The image of Chris floating completely still in the swimming pool was probably going to haunt him forever. He didn't want to think of what could've happened if he had taken any longer inside the house…

The wet trail ended abruptly and Darren stopped the car to study it, mystified. It seemed to vanish just where an overgrown hedge separated one house from the other and…

The hedge trembled.

Darren almost tripped in his rush to get out of the car, but held on to the door just in time. "Chris?"

There was no response but crickets chirping in the distance. He pushed his way between the bushes, shoving branches away from his face until he couldn't keep moving forward anymore, because there was something on the ground.

Or, more precisely, someone. Someone who was breathing heavily and shaking so hard that Darren could hear the branches quiver and nearly feel the ground under his feet vibrating. His words were torn from his mouth in dismay. "Fuck, Chris," he dropped to his knees next to him. "Are you okay?"

As soon as he reached his hand to try and touch Chris' shoulder, the boy withdrew from him as quickly as he could, his blue eyes wide with something that looked a lot like terror and that broke Darren's heart.

"Hey, no, no, don't," Darren said, desperately. "It's okay. I want to help you out of here. Come on. I'll take you home."

"I d-don't want your h-help," Chris stuttered and even without touching him, Darren could feel how cold he was. "G-get away f-from me."

Those words wounded him, but Darren knew he had to suck it up. He deserved it. He had gotten Chris into this nightmare and it was up to him to get him out of it. It was entirely his fault.

"Please, you're freezing. Let me get you out of here before you get sick…" Darren extended his hand again, but Chris slapped it away, his eyes going from fearful to furious in a matter of seconds.

"Sick? _Sick_? I _am_ sick already. Didn't you hear them?" Chris exclaimed, his voice as cold as his body. "And apparently I was sexually harassing you, because that's what us gay kids do, isn't it? We try to assault and infect other people!"

"Chris, you know I don't think like that…" Darren said softly, but Chris still looked like he wanted to punch him in the stomach.

"You… you planned this whole thing, didn't you?" The trembling boy muttered accusingly, looking ready to collapse. "It was all game. It was all a joke…"

"No! What are you talking about?" Darren shook his head and even though he ached to touch Chris, to pull him closer and warm him, he didn't.

"You just pretended to be my friend to get me there so that everyone else could have their fun, right? You tricked me into going to this fucking party. It was all part of a plan to ridicule me even worse than I have to put up with during the week!" Chris bawled half hysterically. "Well, guess what? You all win! I'm the most pathetic, miserable idiot you'll ever meet and if you chased me all the way here just to tell me you think I should die too, then save it and leave me alone to die on my own!"

Darren couldn't help it anymore. He covered his face with his hands and let the tears fall. How could Chris believe those things? How could anyone wish something so terrible to someone so amazing? His heart broke just thinking about the possibility of a world without Chris, without people like him. It would be such a dark, sad world…

"I didn't plan any of this," he sobbed quietly. "You're my best friend, Chris. I would never do anything like this to you. I'm so sorry they… I shouldn't ever have left you alone… I shouldn't have even taken you there… I should've listened to you…"

Chris watched, stunned, as Darren broke down in front of him. He seemed so sincere, so open, so caring… could he be lying? Was Chris stupid for beginning to believe in him?

"I never thought something like this would happen… I thought they were going to see how awesome you are…" Darren looked up and the sight left Chris breathless. Tears were painting his eyelashes and his eyes were impossibly bright and reddened at the same time. "I would never do something like this. I swear to you…"

Chris swallowed and nodded very slowly. Even after this, something inside him forced him to trust Darren. Something magnetic drew him close to him and he couldn't understand why.

Darren wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, unceremoniously. "Please, would you let me help you out of there? I want to take you home."

Chris nodded again and, after hesitating for a moment, he accepted the hand Darren offered him. Darren pulled him out of the hedge and without their protection, the cold night breeze hit his body, making him shudder violently.

"Fuck, you're gonna catch a cold," Darren rubbed his hands energetically over Chris' arms, but it was in vain. His clothes were soaked.

"T-thanks for pulling me out of the pool," Chris whispered, a bit embarrassed. What the hell had he been thinking? He couldn't give up…

"Thanks for taking my hand," Darren answered and smiled slightly. "Come on, let's go."

The drive back to Chris' house was tense and Darren couldn't deny he was freaking out. Chris was paler than usual and wouldn't stop shaking and the words, the mocking and contempt from all their classmates were still haunting their memories.

Darren helped Chris out of the car and into the house, as his muscles stiffened from the cold, made him move agonizingly slowly. Chris leaned on him a little bit and pointed towards the bathroom door. Darren guided him there as Chris supported himself woodenly against the wall as Darren turned the shower on, the hot water billowing with thick steam into the air.

"Do you need any help getting in?" Darren asked, worriedly.

"I'll be fine," Chris answered, trying unsuccessfully to smile.

Darren left him alone even though that was the last thing he wanted to do, but after a moment's consideration, he decided to busy himself downstairs, trying to find his way around the kitchen to make something hot for Chris. He couldn't find anything to make soup, so he made tea, instead.

By the time he had a tray, the sugar and the cup of tea ready, he went upstairs and found Chris just slipping into bed. The boy looked at him with surprised blue eyes.

"I thought you'd left," he said.

Darren put the tray down on the bedside table. "I'm not leaving you like this. Feeling better?"

"A little bit," Chris sighed and wrapped his blankets tighter around himself.

"Maybe some tea will help," Darren handed him the cup, which Chris accepted gratefully.

"Why are you doing this?" Chris asked, as if he couldn't believe someone wanted to take care of him.

"Because I feel like a jerk," Darren said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Because it's my fault that this happened. Because you're my friend and I want to help you."

"You're the first one who has ever seen me," Chris muttered softly. "I'm invisible to everyone else…"

"How could you be invisible? You're beautiful, Chris," Darren answered.

Chris' breath caught in his throat and he almost dropped the cup of tea. Darren had called him beautiful? No one had ever used that word to describe him…

Darren scooted a little closer, grabbed the cup and put it back down on the tray, taking Chris' hand in his. He opened his mouth and for the first couple of tries, no sound came out of him. He finally cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Can I… can I kiss you?"

Chris' eyes went wide. "W-why?"

"Because I've wanted to for a while now," Darren answered as his thumb traced random patterns on the back of Chris' hand.

"Really?" Chris seemed confused, as if someone wanting to kiss him was something incomprehensible.

"Yeah," Darren's gaze had dropped down to Chris' lips and Chris licked them, subconsciously. Darren _ached_. "Please, Chris, I need to… please, let me."

Chris was still shivering slightly as he moved instinctively forward. That was all the answer Darren needed and hurried to press their lips together.

The flow of sparks was immediate. Darren whimpered as soon as their mouths touched because of the intense sensations going down his spine. Sensations he couldn't recognize that felt like nothing he had ever experienced in his life. Chris was very still at first, and when Darren noticed he panicked and almost pulled apart, thinking he had misunderstood, that Chris didn't want this, but then the boy shyly lifted his hand to tangle his fingers into Darren's curls and started kissing him back.

Chris' lips were soft and thin and perfect against Darren's dry, full ones. Their mouths fitted together so well that Darren decided they had been made to kiss each other and they should never ever kiss anyone else. His arms wrapped tightly around Chris' waist, pulling him closer and Chris sighed into the kiss, grateful for the extra body heat.

After a couple of minutes, they pulled away slowly, so slowly that Darren's lower lip got caught on Chris' upper one and the drag of skin sent a shiver down their spines.

Darren looked at him. Chris' eyes were bluer than he had ever seen them and his fingers were still buried in his hair, as if he hadn't even noticed he had them there. Darren wished he would tug at them to bring him in for a second kiss.

"Holy shit," Chris muttered and Darren chuckled under his breath. The boy's lips were cherry red and swollen and it took all of Darren's willpower not to move forward again. "T-that was... Okay."

"Okay?" Darren repeated, a bit crest-fallen. "I was hoping for something more enthusiastic after _holy shit_."

"No, no, I mean..." Chris closed his eyes, trying to calm down. He let his hands fall and Darren immediately missed their embrace.

Darren sighed in resignation. "You're regretting it, aren't you?"

Chris' eyes snapped open. "What? No, Dare, I... This is my first kiss, alright? You're my first kiss..."

A smile started spreading on Darren's lips. "Really?"

Chris didn't know how to interpret his hopeful expression, but it made his stomach twist. And it wasn't a bad twist at all… "Yeah."

Darren leaned closer and spoke again in a low voice that seemed to caress Chris' skin. "Can I be your second kiss, too?"

A guttural whine escaped from Chris' lips as he threw his arms around Darren's neck. In just a matter of seconds, the other boy had made him feel wanted, special, and no one had ever been able to do that for him.

Darren held him close, too, as if he were afraid Chris might evaporate if he let go, and kissed him passionately, urgently, until they were both breathless and had no other choice but to pull away. They rested their foreheads together and Chris shook his head, bewildered.

"What the hell are we doing?" He wondered out loud.

Darren chuckled, his fingers playing lightly with the hair at the base of Chris' neck. "I thought we were kissing?"

"But why?" Chris frowned and pulled away a bit, just enough to look Darren in the eye.

"Because I like you," Darren said, as if it were obvious. "And I hope you like me back…"

"I thought you… I thought you weren't like me," Chris muttered, avoiding looking into Darren's eyes.

Darren put a finger on Chris' chin and forced him to meet his level gaze. "I wasn't raised to believe in labels, Chris. I am who I am."

"You grew up in a different world than mine, then, because it sure as hell matters here. Being who you are, especially if you're going to go around kissing boys, it's gonna get you in big trouble," Chris said sadly.

"I don't plan to go around kissing random boys," Darren shrugged. "There's only one boy I want to kiss and he's right here with me."

What could Chris answer that? Before he even knew what he was doing, he launched himself at Darren and let the other boy's arms envelop him. Chris buried his face in the crook of Darren's neck and inhaled the intoxicating scent of his skin. It had been so long since Chris had been properly hugged, just like this, so tight and so perfect. Since he had started being bullied, physical contact had freaked him out and he rarely let anyone hold him, not even his family. But Darren… Darren made everything different. Darren made him feel a sense of safety that had been absent in his life for too long.

They held each other in silence for what seemed a very long time, and it was Darren who spoke again after a while.

"You're still so cold," he whispered softly, as if he were scared of disturbing the peace around them. He rubbed his hands up and down Chris' back, trying to generate some heat.

"I'm okay. Just tired," Chris replied against his neck.

"Then sleep," Darren said simply. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

"Will you keep holding me until I do?" Chris asked, so lowly that Darren almost didn't hear him.

Darren smiled and kissed the top of his head. "I think I'm gonna have a hard time letting go even then."

"Dork," Chris smiled, but he yawned right afterward.

"Scoot over, come on," Darren gently pushed him down on his back, until Chris snuggled under the blankets. Darren kicked his shoes off and settled besides him, over the blankets and a little bit more elevated, so Chris could use his chest as a pillow. The boy hesitantly settled on him, throwing an arm around his waist, as if he were waiting for Darren to push him away. When Darren sighed in contentment, though, he seemed to relax.

Darren stroked his hair and rubbed his back to keep him warm and lull him into sleep. When Chris finally drowsed off, no nightmares tainted his dreams, no bad memories from that night ruined the good ones. For the first time in years, Chris slept with a smile on his face and without waking up once.

Darren, on the other hand, once he made it back home and into his own bed, couldn't fall sleep at all, anxious for the new day to begin so he could see Chris again.

* * *

**I can't wait to hear (or well, read) your thoughts on this chapter! Share them with me!**

**I have no idea when I'll update again, but I hope it'll be soon!**

**Until then!**

**L.-**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, guys!**

**I'm finally done with all of my tests and I'm starting my Winter Break so huzzah! The only bad thing is that I'm sick but that means I get to just be lazy and do nothing but writing and reading all day :)**

**As usual, I'd like to thank my beta for her infinite patience and help. **

**I own nothing, as usual.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Darren ended up being dragged by his parents to a family gathering on Sunday and Chris had, not surprisingly, caught a cold the previous night, so he spent the next day in bed.

They texted each other during the day, Darren including several pictures of himself pouting because he couldn't be there with Chris. They made Chris laugh, although that caused a coughing fit so his mom forced him to turn his phone off and take a nap.

Even though uncertainty and fear were making his stomach shrivel as he thought about what would happen the next day, Chris didn't let it bring him down.

For once, he believed he had a chance at happiness and he was willing to see where it would take him.

* * *

They had agreed Chris would pick Darren up before school the next day. Darren was so anxious that he was rocking back and forth on his feet outside in the front yard of his house fifteen minutes before the other boy was due to arrive. His mom was looking at him from the kitchen window with a frown, but, already used to her son's antics, she didn't say anything.

Chris didn't even have time to park the car before Darren was opening the passenger's side door and climbing in.

"Hi!" He said with a huge smile.

Chris bit his lip, awkwardly. "Hello."

Darren closed the gap between them to kiss Chris on the mouth. Even though the kiss was chaste and quick, it sent a shock through Chris' body and his cheeks colored red.

Taking the hand Chris was resting between their seats, Darren looked right into his eyes. "I'm going to hold your hand and be with you and walk with you and no one is going to stop me, okay?"

"That's suicidal," Chris rolled his eyes as he started driving again.

"Chris, someone needs to show these people that there's nothing wrong with you, that there's nothing wrong with me and that there's definitely nothing wrong with _us_," Darren answered, looking at him intensely. "And I don't think there's anyone more amazing than us to teach them that lesson..."

Chris snorted, but Darren's words still caused a smile to tug at his lips, even when he knew it was a crazy idea, even when he knew they wouldn't be able to make a difference.

Dreaming felt nice sometimes.

* * *

"Is that... Is that Darren holding hands with that homo kid that's in my French class?"

"Oh my God, he is!"

"Haven't you heard? They almost kissed at Casey's party on Saturday. Damian says Colfer was trying to force Darren to kiss him."

"Never thought Darren would catch the gay. He seemed like such a cool guy."

"It's all Colfer's fault. He's contagious."

"They're disgusting. Someone should make them understand we don't need to see them being inappropriate like this."

"They're _so_ going to hell."

They were already there.

* * *

"Darren, they are all staring at us."

"They're just jealous because I have the most amazing guy in the school walking next to me."

"Maybe you should let go of my hand."

"Can't."

"Darren..."

"I can't. I like how they fit together."

"I need it to open my locker anyway so you'll... What are you doing!"

"I was trying to kiss you?"

"Oh my god, are you trying to get us killed? Darren, you can't kiss me here."

"Of course I can, I just have to..."

_Bang_.

Darren was shoved against Chris and Chris' back hit the edge of the locker, as it usually did.

"Go back into the closet, homos. We don't need garbage like you at school!"

Chris kept his eyes closed, biting back the pain radiating from his spine.

"Are you okay?" Darren's worried voice said.

"Yeah," he answered bitterly.

It was stupid to believe they could change the world.

* * *

Darren ached to grab Chris' hand again, but he didn't.

The look on Chris' face when they were shoved against the locker was enough for him to want to give up.

* * *

Chris had endured enough bad weeks in his school years to last him for the rest of his life, but this was the worst one of all.

Sure, they had called him a fag and a queer and all those horrible names since before he could recall, but now they really knew for sure that he really _was_ gay.

He and Darren had kept all physical contact private since Monday. Hand-holding and kissing were things they only did in the car now, when they were sure no one was looking at them.

It felt like they were hiding because what they were doing was wrong.

How could happiness become depressing so fast?

* * *

On Friday, Darren walked into the cafeteria for lunch in the best mood he'd had since Monday. The weekend was near and they would stop being prisoners of all the homophobic idiots in their school for two whole days. He could hardly wait.

"Let me go!"

Those three words were enough to pop the little bubble of relief that had been growing inside of him all morning.

And the image that greeted him when he looked at the table where Chris and he sat everyday hit him like a punch in the stomach.

Two of Damian's friends, Kevin and Julian, were holding Chris' arms behind his back, while Damian was grabbing a handful of his hair and forcing his head down into the plate of spaghetti that Chris had gotten for lunch. His face was already smeared with sauce as he tried futilely to fight the boys holding him.

Darren had never been so furious in his life.

"Leave him alone!" He screamed and, if there was anyone in the cafeteria that hadn't noticed what was going on, they sure did now, as Darren ran towards the table.

"Coming to rescue your princess, Darren?" Damian smirked, tugging harder at Chris' hair and making the boy yelp in pain.

Darren couldn't believe that even though the commotion was growing, no one came to help. No students, teachers or even a janitor seemed to care enough to intervene.

"Let him go," Darren said, through gritted teeth. "Now."

"But he's enjoying it!" Damian laughed, pushing Chris' face down onto the plate a bit harder. "Doesn't he love this? When you hold him down and make him take it?"

Somehow, Chris seemed to twist his body around enough to jerk one of his legs back and his heel landed right in Kevin's crotch, making him howl in pain and let go of Chris' arm. With that, Chris managed to pull himself free from the other two. Darren immediately reached and grabbed his wrist, pulling him closer to him and away from the other boys.

"Fuck you, Colfer," Kevin groaned, still bent in half.

"If you wanted to feel him up, you could've asked nicely, you know?" Damian said, causing everyone around them to laugh.

"As if I would ever want to put my hands on him," Chris snorted as elegantly as he could while covered in his lunch. "Kevin's like a minefield. If you touch him there's always the risk of exploding one of his pimples."

"What makes you think you're so much better than us, Colfer?" Kevin turned to him, his face red and angry. "You never learn."

"You're the one who never learns. None of you do," Darren answered, looking around. "You could be half as amazing as he is if you didn't spend all of your time bullying people just because they…"

Darren didn't get to finish the sentence. Damian tossed the plate of spaghetti his way, and the rest of the food that hadn't ended up on Chris' face or shirt, ended up on him.

The laughter resounded all around the cafeteria.

This time, even though they were in public, it was Chris who grabbed his hand.

* * *

"I can't see shit," Darren mumbled as he walked with Chris down the hallways.

"Stop touching your eyes. You're making it worse," Chris stopped at his locker and opened it, rummaging until he found the towel he kept there for the days they had PhysEd. He turned to Darren and started wiping him clean carefully. His messy curls were a disaster, but his face had taken the brunt of the damage. Chris imagined he didn't look much better.

"We should get out of here," Darren said, as he closed his eyes and let Chris take care of him.

"Do you want to go to the bathroom? We can wet the towel to make it easier."

"No, I mean… we should skip the rest of the day. I think we've had enough for today," Darren looked up at Chris and saw that the other boy seemed as drained as he was.

Chris wiped his face as he thought for a moment. It didn't make much difference, but at least they could see now. He thought for a moment.

"My house is empty," he finally said, tossing the towel back into his locker. "My parents probably won't be back a few hours, so they won't know we skipped."

Darren smiled in relief. "Okay. Let's go."

Chris accepted the hand Darren was offering. He needed it. "Okay."

* * *

They took turns in the shower and Chris gave Darren a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie to change into. He had to roll the pants up a few inches.

Darren came downstairs when he was done, his hair still damp, and found Chris standing against the kitchen counter.

"I'm making some popcorn," Chris said in a toneless voice. "I thought we could watch a movie or something."

"Sounds good," Darren nodded slowly. "Can I help with something?"

"Just grab something to drink from the fridge," Chris answered.

Darren moved to the fridge and grabbed two water bottles. There was a weird atmosphere in the air, the bitterness of what had happened that day shadowing them. The microwave beeped loudly signaling Chris to take the bag of popcorn out of it, and shake it into a bowl. In silence, they walked to the living room. They put everything down on the coffee table and Darren sat awkwardly on the couch as Chris went through the movies, trying to choose one. Darren didn't notice which one he chose. He was too busy watching Chris to notice. Watching Chris, who was too serious, too tense. It was like seeing the same boy he had first met, the one that still had all of his walls up.

Chris walked to the couch and sat down, leaving a considerable space between them, making Darren feel a pang in his chest. He had never felt as lonely as he felt right then, with Chris at arm's reach, but still so far away from him.

He forced a little smile on his face and patted the spot next to him. "Come over here."

Chris hesitated for a second. Something inside him made him be wary, but he needed Darren so much. He wanted to feel him close. He wanted to hold him and forget about what a horrible week they'd had.

"Please," Darren whispered and Chris couldn't say no to that, to the way his hazel eyes begged him to to not blow him off.

He scooted closer and Darren wrapped an arm around his waist and buried his face on his shoulder. His skin smelled like soap and shampoo and cologne and all of the wonderful things in the world and Darren still couldn't believe how someone could want to hurt Chris, how everyone didn't see how unique he was, how wonderful, how loveable…

Darren placed a kiss right under Chris' ear. "Are you okay?"

"No," Chris said honestly. "I'm so sick of it all. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take it."

"I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm just making it worse," Darren sighed sadly and Chris pulled away to look him in the eyes.

"Are you kidding me? I'm the one who's sorry. You never had to deal with this crap until you met me." Chris shook his head and swallowed, hard, as if what he was about to say was really unpleasant. "Maybe… maybe we should finish… this. Whatever _this_ is."

Darren frowned. "No, I'm not breaking up with you. That's not the solution."

"You don't have to be dealing with this. I'm used to it. It's been years…" Chris shrugged as if it wasn't important. "But you… Darren, if they hurt you, I'm not going to be able to forgive myself."

"And you think that just because we weren't together anymore, nothing more would happen to us? We're already targets, Chris. They would keep shoving you around and they would start hounding me, too," Darren tightened his grip on Chris and pulled him closer. "There's no point in giving them what they want. And if things are going to be this way, regardless of what we do, then at least I want to know that at the end of the day, I get to go home with you and kiss you goodnight."

Chris leaned against Darren and buried his fingers in his curls. "The things you say…"

"Too cheesy?" Darren chuckled, a little embarrassed.

"Too perfect," Chris replied. "Perfect doesn't really happen to me."

Darren shifted around a little bit, just enough so he could capture Chris' lips with his and they shared a slow, sweet kiss.

When they pulled away, they simply smiled at each other, without saying anything else, because it didn't feel like they needed to, just then. There would always be time for words, but this? This being together at peace and away from everyone's judgment? That was something they wanted to treasure.

They cuddled closer together and forgot about the rest of the world.

* * *

Karyn Colfer pushed the front door open and ushered Hannah inside. The girl dropped her school bag on the floor as her mother carried the paper bags with the groceries to the kitchen. Hannah's favorite TV show had already started, so she rushed to the living room to turn the television on.

Karyn was putting the milk in the fridge when her daughter came looking for her, frowning. "What's going on, sweetheart?"

"I can't sit on the couch," she informed her.

"Why not? Are the dogs up there again? Because I don't know what to do with them anymore…" Karyn sighed and closed the fridge.

"No," was Hannah's answer.

Karyn knew going to see the problem herself was much quicker than waiting for Hannah to give her an acceptable explanation, so she walked to the living room, only to stop in her tracks, eyes wide, with a gasp.

Chris was asleep on the couch and the credits of some movie were playing on the television.

But her son wasn't alone.

He was tightly wrapped in another boy's arms and the intimate way in which they were holding each other made her want to look away, as if she were intruding on them.

"Can you wake them up? It's time for my show," Hannah said, moving towards the coffee table to snatch the bowl of popcorn that the boys had abandoned there. She grabbed a handful.

It wasn't necessary for Karyn to shake Chris awake, because Hannah's voice did it for her. His blue eyes snapped open and he seemed a bit disoriented at first. He looked up to find the other boy asleep pretty much underneath him and the sweetest, most sincere smile Karyn had ever seen appeared on his lips.

That was, of course, until he noticed they weren't the only people in the living room. When Chris turned his head and found his mother and his sister (who was eating popcorn while staring at them as if they were the most entertaining thing she had ever seen), he jumped nearly a foot in the air.

"Mom!" He exclaimed and he tried to untangle himself from the boy who was still, surprisingly, asleep. "I… I was… We were watching a movie and I guess we fell asleep, I just…"

Darren chose the worst possible moment to whine at the loss of Chris' proximity and reached his arms out blindly trying to find him again. When he wasn't successful, he whined again and rolled to his side. "Chris…?"

Chris' face had never been so pale. "Oh my god," he muttered under his breath, before turning back to the boy and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Darren. Darren, wake up."

"Five more minutes," Darren growled, grabbing the hand Chris was using to shake him and cradling it to his chest, sighing in contentment.

Chris jerked it away and that did it. Darren opened his eyes, confused, and then they went wide as soon as they noticed the other two occupants of the room.

"Shit!" He exhaled, as he sat up. "I mean…" He cleared his throat, nervously. "Hi, I'm Darren."

"Hello, Darren," Karyn answered politely, before turning back to her son. "Did you skip school today, Christopher?"

"Just my afternoon classes, Mom," Chris answered, biting his lip as he stood.

"That would be my fault, ma'am," Darren stood up and moved to stand besides Chris. "I suggested we should skip the rest of the day."

"Why?" Karyn frowned at him, clearly not happy.

"We had a rough morning," Chris said, quietly. He didn't want to tell his Mom about all the bullying and the horrible time he'd had at school. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have…"

Karyn could feel there was something Chris wasn't telling her, but decided not to push for the truth, at least not right then. She nodded. "Well, you've never done it before, so I can let it slip for once." Chris and Darren seemed obviously relieved. "I need help with dinner and you have homework to do before that, Christopher. Maybe it's time for Darren to go home…"

"Yes, sure," Darren hurried to walk to the chair where they had dropped their school bags. "It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Colfer."

"Nice meeting you too, Darren," she answered with a little smile and then she went to the kitchen. She heard the front door only seconds later.

Karyn peeked through the kitchen window to where Darren and Chris were standing near Chris' car. The absence of a second vehicle told her that Darren had either gotten a ride from her son or walked to school. But all thoughts of transportation faded away when she saw Darren leaning to press a quick kiss to Chris' lips, before turning around and jogging down the street.

Chris stood there watching him leave with a little smile on his face for a couple of minutes, even after Darren disappeared around the corner.

* * *

"Hey, Mom, I'm home!"

"Just in time for dinner, Darren," Cerina Criss smiled kindly as Darren leaned closer to her to place a kiss on her cheek, without a pause as she chopped vegetables.

Darren moved to the cupboard to get out the plates and glasses to set the table. "Mom?"

"Yes, darling?"

"I have a boyfriend."

Darren held his breath as he waited for his mother's reaction.

She hummed in acknowledgement. "That's fantastic, Darren. When do we get to meet him?"

Darren fucking loved his family.

* * *

Chris took his time doing his homework, not really eager to go downstairs and face his mom. He hadn't told his parents he was gay, yet and he wasn't sure how they would react. And knowing that he couldn't hide it anymore, because the way he and Darren had been found together was all the evidence anyone would need, made him nervous.

When he knew he couldn't keep avoiding his mom anymore, he went back to the kitchen and found her stirring something in a pan.

"What are you making?" He asked, trying to sound normal.

"Spaghetti," she said, but didn't notice the flash of bitterness that crossed her son's face. "Would you like some garlic bread, too?"

"Yeah, sure," he answered, even though he wasn't aware of what he was agreeing to. He was thinking about what had happened earlier again and he wished he knew a way to stop his tormentors, especially now that they were going after Darren, too.

Chris started helping his mom with the garlic bread and the spaghetti sauce, chatting about everything and anything except Darren. He carefully avoided the topic for as long as he could.

"I've never seen Darren around town before," Karyn commented nonchalantly , but she was moving more deliberately as she paid close attention to what Chris had to say.

"Yeah, he moved here with his parents a little over a month ago," Chris said, not looking up from what he was doing.

"Is he… you know, a… good friend?" Karyn murmured and Chris realized this conversation was probably as hard for her as it was for him, so he took a steadying breath and decided to try and make it easier for her.

"If you're asking if we're more than friends, then… yeah, I think we are," he waited for his mom to say something, but she didn't, so he continued. "I know we've never talked about this, but I…"

"Christopher, it's fine," Karyn put the knife she was using down and took a few steps closer to him. "I just wished you had trusted us and told us."

"I do trust you," Chris frowned. Wasn't that clear? He loved his parents and he trusted them. He tried to be a bit clearer. "It's just that… I would love this to be something you don't have to announce to the world, something you just… _are_. People don't go around saying 'Mom, Dad, I'm fat.' Or thin or black or white or whatever they are. Why do gays have to make an announcement? Why can't we simply be ourselves and that's it?"

Chris closed his eyes. He thought about how hard every day was at school. He thought about how it was out there in the world, with some places more accepting than others and even some cultures where being gay was considered the worst possible thing you could be. He thought about Darren, who didn't care about labels and he thought of what it must have been like growing up in San Francisco, that had made Darren the way he was.

He imagined himself there, with Darren, in a little apartment in a beautiful street with flowerbeds everywhere and walking together around town and holding hands without people sparing a second glance at them because it was _normal_.

Chris wasn't sure where all that was coming from, but it made him feel warm inside.

"Is this why you always seem so sad?" Karyn asked, surprising Chris a bit with her question. "Because you feel like you can't be yourself?"

Chris sighed and looked sadder than ever. "Mom, it's not that I _feel_ like I can't be myself. I'm not _allowed_ to be myself."

"What do you mean?" She tilted her head and took another step closer.

Chris swallowed. How much was he willing to tell her about his life? Was he willing to tell her about the bruises and the bullying and the pain he couldn't escape? "This town doesn't really embrace gay people."

"Are you having trouble at school?" She put a hand on his shoulder and if she would've pressed a little harder, it would've made him wince because he had a bruise right there.

"Well…" Chris averted her eyes. "I have no friends. Everyone hates me and calls me names and…" He decided against telling her about the physical abuse when her face was already furrowed with too much concern and pain from those words alone. "And… they look at me like I'm contagious," he ended up saying.

"Christopher… why didn't you tell me?" She shook her head.

"I didn't want you to worry about something you can't change," Chris explained. He grabbed her hand. "I just have a few more months of high school. In a few years, I won't even remember the people I went to school with. I don't care about them."

"And Darren?"

A genuine, sweet smile spread on Chris' lips. "He saved me."

* * *

They went to Darren's place on Monday after school because they needed to work on an English project and Darren's Dad had a very large collection of books they could consult for their research.

Darren kicked his shoes off as soon as he was through the front door and Chris had to bite his lip to stop from laughing. The lack of footwear actually made Darren even shorter and Chris had to admit to himself that he was adorable.

"My Dad's books are in the studio, but we'll be much more comfortable in my room, so let's get everything we need and we'll go upstairs," Darren said as he padded in his socked feet across the hallway. "Mom, I'm home!" He shouted, causing Chris to flinch at the sudden sound.

"How was school, darling?" A soft voice answered from somewhere else.

Darren decided to not mention the shoving around and the name calling. "It was okay. Chris is here with me; we have homework to do."

They entered the kitchen, where a short woman with dark hair and gentle eyes was making tea. She turned around as soon as she heard them and smiled as her gaze fell in Chris.

"Chris, dear! It's so nice to finally meet you!" She crossed the kitchen in a few steps and wrapped Chris in her arms.

"I… It's nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Criss," he said, looking at Darren quizzically.

"Darren talks so much about you…"

"H-he does?" Chris' eyes widened.

"Of course I do," Darren rolled his eyes as he moved towards the fridge. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Oh, I just made tea. Would you like some while you do your homework?" Cerina asked, going back to the kettle she had left on the counter.

"We have Diet Coke, too," Darren said, grabbing a can and showing it to Chris.

"You know me so well," Chris laughed, reaching for the drink. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Darren took another can for himself. "We're going upstairs, Mom."

"Okay, boys," she smiled. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, Mrs. Criss," Chris repeated before following Darren out of the kitchen and to his father's studio, where they spent a few minutes gathering the books they needed and then heading upstairs.

Darren pushed the door to his bedroom open and gestured for Chris to go inside. "Welcome. This is where the magic happens."

"And by _magic_, did you mean where you fall asleep on your Math homework?" Chris teased, as he dropped his bag on the bed and took a look around. Darren's room was the typical teenage boy's room: messy, with clothes everywhere, the bed unmade and, in Darren's particular case, several musical instruments scattered around the room. It felt homey. Chris liked it.

"Very funny," Darren narrowed his eyes at him.

"Where should I sit?" Chris asked, glancing around again. The desk was even messier than the rest of the room and the floor didn't look too comfortable, but he wasn't sure if he should just sit on Darren's bed without asking first.

"My bed is fine," Darren answered, shrugging, as he grabbed a few books off one of his shelves. Chris settled against the headboard and opened his bag to get his stuff.

Darren turned around and took in the sight. Chris was on his bed. His eighteen-year-old mind wished that there was fewer books and school work and more making out, but he wasn't sure if Chris would be comfortable with that, at least yet. They hadn't even had a serious talk about what exactly they were and what everything meant, even though Darren liked to think of Chris as his boyfriend… but what if Chris wasn't on board with that?

He forced himself to focus on what they had to do. They read and made notes and talked about what they wanted to include in their project for what felt like hours. Somehow, they had shifted closer to each other and by the time they paused for a moment, with their homework outlined and ready to be rewritten properly, they were close enough that Darren could lean his head on Chris' shoulder. So he did.

One of Chris' hands went to the back of Darren's neck and massaged there, before moving a few inches up to toy with the curls at the base. "Tired?"

"Yeah," Darren sighed. "Do you want to take a break?"

"Mm, sure," Chris yawned and dropped his head on top of Darren's. "I still have to finish a History assignment, though…"

Darren groaned. "No more homework, please."

Chris chuckled and wrapped his arms around Darren, pulling him a little closer, so Darren was almost lying on his chest. "You really are lazy."

"There should be a major in laziness, I would have the perfect GPA," Darren said, turning his face toward Chris' neck and causing his voice to sound muffled.

"We haven't talked about what we want to do in college," Chris murmured, thoughtfully.

Darren tilted his head slightly up, just enough to look Chris in the eyes so he knew what he was talking about. "We haven't talked about a lot of things, actually."

"Like what?" Chris asked, but then there's a soft knock on the half-opened door and they both looked up to see Cerina peeking in with a smile.

"Sorry to interrupt, boys, but dinner's almost ready," she informed them. Then her eyes fell on Chris. "Would you like to stay for dinner, Chris?"

"I…" Chris mumbled, hesitantly, but then Darren was squeezing his hand a little bit and he made up his mind. "I'd love to. I'll call my mom and ask her if it's okay."

"Wonderful," Cerina answered, nodding. "I'll put the food on the table in five minutes. Call your mom and then both of you go wash up."

"Yes, Mom," Darren was smiling brightly, his head still resting on Chris' chest and Chris wondered if this should feel more awkward, being with a boy, so close, so comfortable, while one of their parents was looking at them.

But there was nothing, not even the smallest bit of awkwardness floating in the room between them and Chris felt relieved and happy.

When he was with Darren, when they weren't being judged for what they had, Chris felt like he lived in a totally different world.

A world he wanted to stay in forever.

* * *

Dinner was nice. Darren's parents were both wonderful and, for once, when Darren grabbed his hand, Chris didn't feel embarrassed. He actually closed his fingers around Darren's as he used his free hand to try Cerina's delicious chocolate dessert.

When they were done eating, it was still early and Chris had a couple of hours before his curfew, so Darren's face lit up with an idea. He left Chris standing alone in the middle of the living room and ran off, returning a few minutes later with two thick blankets.

"What are you doing with those?" Chris asked, curiously.

"Follow me, please," Darren said in an exaggeratedly polite tone and Chris rolled his eyes before obliging. Darren stopped by the closet next to the front door and opened it. He grabbed his coat and put it on.

"Where are we going?" Chris tilted his head to the side.

Darren picked out a second coat and held it up for Chris to slip into it. "You'll soon see; stop asking," he laughed.

When they were both bundled up, Darren put the blankets under one arm and grabbed Chris' hand, pulling him out the door. They circled the house all the way to the backyard. It was a beautiful open space and it was obvious Cerina had been dedicating some time to it because there were recently planted flowers and the lawn had probably been mown not too long ago, since it smelled a lot like freshly cut grass.

Darren let go of Chris and spread one of the blankets on the grass in the middle of the backyard. "Come on, lay down," he told the other boy, once the blanket was perfectly smoothed.

Chris frowned but obliged nonetheless. As soon as he was settled on the blanket, Darren lay down beside him and opened the second blanket, to cover them. Once he was comfortable, Darren wrapped Chris in his arms and pulled him closer until the boy was resting his head on his shoulder.

They both looked up to find the sky painted with thousands and thousands of stars.

"Well…" Chris whispered, as if talking in a louder tone would disrupt the beauty of the moment. "Aren't you romantic?"

"Uhm," Darren shifted a bit, anxiously. "If you think it's silly we can go back inside and watch a movie or finish our homework or maybe we could…"

Chris moved up slightly and silenced Darren with a kiss. It caught the other boy off guard, but after a few seconds, he smiled into it and held Chris tighter.

When they parted, Chris smiled, too, before settling back in place and looking up at the sky once more. "So… are you going to tell me the name of the constellations and all of that, or were you just tricking me into a make out session out here in the cold?"

Darren chuckled. "Okay, let me see…" His hazel eyes wandered up, scanning the stars shining high above them. "So… you see those, right there above that house's roof?"

"Yeah…" Chris threw one of his arms around Darren's torso and tried to get more comfortable.

"If you squint it looks like a fluffy bunny or…" Darren tilted his head to the side, "maybe like a bird with only one wing."

"Those look like a jellyfish," Chris pointed towards the other side, to a different group of stars.

"I was going to say it looks like a liver," Darren muttered, frowning.

"Darren!" Chris laughed and smacked him on the shoulder. "You're ruining the moment!"

Darren bit his lip, trying to hold back his own laughter. "Sorry."

Darren started stroking Chris' hair absently as he kept staring up at the stars.

"If you put those and those together, they almost look like a heart," Darren pointed out and then traced other shapes in the sky with his finger. "And those look like our initials inside the heart."

In any other moment or with any other person, Chris would've rolled his eyes and said that was ridiculous. Now, however, his heart did a crazy jump inside his chest.

They kissed, because what else could they do after that? Darren pushed Chris back so he could move half on top of him, still careful to give Chris enough space. Their mouths slid against each other, sweet, tantalizing, tempting. The press of lips became harder, then softer, then harder again. It was as if they were testing their limits, still trying to familiarize themselves with each other that way. Chris' hands were resting on the small of Darren's back, as Darren's cupped the other boy's face.

When they finally had to pull away, Darren felt as if he'd been hit by a train. His heart was beating harder than ever, there was dizzying sensation going around and around in his stomach and his lips ached to go back to Chris'. He looked into Chris' blue eyes and felt himself going breathless.

"Chris?" He muttered, so low that at first Chris thought he had imagined it, but he hummed to let Darren know he had his attention anyway. "Do you… do you think there's such thing as falling in love way too soon?"

Chris gasped and he could swear his heart stopped beating for a long, long minute. Had Darren really said that? And had he meant what Chris thought he meant?

And what was his answer? Did Chris believe it was too soon to fall in love with Darren?

_No_. How could someone, anyone, know Darren and not fall in love with him?

But he was scared. Chris had always been scared deep down inside and even though he felt it (_holy shit, he was in love with Darren_), he couldn't say it. Not yet.

So he did the next best thing and kissed Darren again, as intensely and passionately as he could, hoping he would understand.

* * *

School was still hell, but the love they felt and that still hadn't been put into words, was the refuge that kept them sane through it. They just needed to squeeze each other's hand to know they were there for each other, that they were together, that they weren't dealing with this on their own, and it all became bearable.

But then, after a very, very cold, rainy day where Darren stubbornly refused to use an umbrella, but equally stubbornly insisted to walk three blocks to the closest coffee place to get Chris a cup because he had spent half the night studying for a test, Darren caught a cold with fever and had to stay home the next day, which led him to do the worst thing he could've ever possibly done.

He left Chris alone at school.

* * *

**Don't kill me for leaving it at a little cliffhanger! **

**I hope you liked this chapter. Please, share your thoughts with me!**

**I don't know where the next part will be up, but I'm guessing sometime next week? We'll see!**

**Have a wonderful day!**

**L.-**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, guys! Happy The Land of Stories Release Day! :D**

**If you're amongst the fortunate ones getting the book today or going to one of Chris' signings, I'm really happy for you! For the rest of us who are scattered around the world and need to wait, hang in there! We'll get out chance :)**

**I'm hoping you will all enjoy this chapter. I have to thank Wutif, as usual, for her help :)**

**I own nothing!**

* * *

Darren spent the day moping miserably around the house, bored out of his mind and generally driving his mom crazy.

"Darren, get back to bed now!" She had to keep saying every ten minutes when Darren wandered into the kitchen, wearing a thin t-shirt and walking barefoot over the cold tile floor. "How are you supposed to get better if you keep acting like a child?"

"But I'm bored," he whined, pouting as he looked in the fridge for the fifth time and finding nothing good had miraculously appeared yet. He sighed and closed it again.

"Then get into bed and do your homework."

"I said I'm bored, not that I want to be even _more_ bored," Darren rolled his eyes, but left the kitchen nonetheless.

He was about to climb back up the stairs and was considering maybe plugging in his PlayStation and killing some time that way when the bell rang. He was just walking by the front door, so he shrugged and decided to see who it was.

"Coming!" He called.

It was early. It was barely past lunch time so the idea that it could be Chris didn't even cross his mind because he assumed his boyfriend (boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend) was still at school. But when he opened the door, Chris was standing there, absolutely drenched from the pouring rain.

Darren smiled widely. "Chris! Hi! I thought you'd still be at school! But I'm so happy you're here, I was bored out of my mi-… "

Chris launched himself into Darren's arms before he had time to even finish talking and only then, when he held him against his chest, did he notice how hard Chris was shaking. And it wasn't because of the cold, or because of the rain.

It was because of the force of his sobs.

"Chris?" Darren was instantly scared.

"Who's at the door, darling?" Cerina said as she walked from the kitchen, but she stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw the scene developing in front of her and the confused, scared look in Darren's eyes. "Darren… why don't you take Chris up to your room so he can calm down?"

"Yeah…" Darren nodded awkwardly. But saying it was easier than doing, because Chris was clinging to him so hard that Darren couldn't move to take him up the stairs. Cerina made a gesture to indicate she would be in the kitchen and that he should let her know if they needed something, before leaving them alone.

Chris' tears were wetting the skin of his neck and his hands were closed in fists against Darren's chest, the fabric of his t-shirt clenched tightly.

"Chris…" Darren tilted his head to kiss the boy's temple. "Hey, come on. Let's go to my room. We can talk there."

Chris nodded vaguely so Darren practically dragged him all the way upstairs. Once the door was closed behind them, Darren enveloped Chris back into his arms, since he was still crying so hard that his entire body vibrated.

Darren let him cry all he needed, and it seemed Chris went on and on for hours. Darren was surprised he still had tears to cry after so long, but he patiently waited for Chris to let it all go before gently guiding him towards the bed.

"No… don't," Chris protested weakly. "I'm wet. I'm going to make a mess."

"It's a little late for that," Darren answered with a teasing smile as he pointed down at himself. Chris bit his lip in regret. Darren took a step closer and pecked him quickly on the lips. "Just kidding, beautiful. Give me a second."

Darren went through his closet to find clean clothes for Chris and grabbed some for himself, too. His hands were shaking, nervously, and the uncertainty of learning what had happened to Chris to make him cry like that was killing him.

He put two pairs of sweatpants and two clean shirts on the bed and cupped Chris' face in his hands.

"You don't have to talk until you're ready, but there's just one thing that I need you to tell me," Darren murmured. He looked into Chris' red rimmed eyes. "Are you hurt?"

Darren was actually expecting Chris to shake his head, to say it hadn't been anything too terrible, that maybe someone had called him something nasty and he had snapped because he was tired of it. But when Chris nodded shyly, his entire world crumbled and fell at his feet.

Darren felt like he couldn't breathe. Someone had hurt Chris while he was at home complaining about having nothing to do. Why had he been so stupid? Why hadn't he gone to school anyway?

"T-they caught me in the bathroom," Chris stuttered, avoiding Darren's eyes. "I-I was washing my hands before going to the cafeteria for lunch, and they…" He swallowed and even though Darren wanted to start screaming, he bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed because he needed to let Chris talk without interrupting him. "They told me I d-didn't belong in the boys' bathroom and started insulting me. I tried t-to leave, but they pushed me back inside and…"

"And, what?" Darren said, unable to stay quiet anymore.

"They kept pushing and shoving me around and I kept stumbling and falling and hitting myself against the counter and the stalls and…" Chris' eyes filled with tears again.

"Let me see," Darren murmured softly, willing his voice to stay as firm as possible and not break like his heart had.

"N-no…" Chris took a step back, panic in his eyes.

"Hey, no, don't push me away, Chris, please…" Darren begged, desperately. "I just want to help you. I need to see how bad it is. I won't even touch it if you don't want me to…"

"It's just that…" Chris looked so scared and so vulnerable that it broke Darren's heart. "I-it must be really ugly."

"Nothing about you could possibly be ugly," Darren answered wholeheartedly. "Please, Chris…"

"I-I… okay," Chris grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and hesitated. It was obvious this was really hard for him. Finally, he tugged on it and took it off.

Darren's breath caught in his throat at the sight of Chris' perfect, pale, mesmerizing chest, even though it was a very, _very_ bad time for him to feel so stunned at the sight of his boyfriend's skin. And then Chris exhaled loudly and, gathering his courage, turned around making Darren's breath catch for a very different reason.

Chris' back and arms were covered in darkening bruises in every shape, size and color. It looked so painful that it made Darren wince.

"Oh, Chris…" he mumbled, sadly. He took a step closer, but didn't dare touch the bruised skin.

Chris sniffed. "It really hurts…"

"I know, honey, I… tell me what I can do to help," Darren pleaded, even more desperately. "Anything. I think my mom has some of that Arnica crap that she bought when Chuck got into a fight when some dude thought he was feeling his girlfriend up at a club."

Chris turned back to him and touched Darren's face softly, trying to calm him down because he could hear the other boy was freaking out. "Ssh, I'll be okay. I just really needed to see you."

"This is all my fault," Darren buried his face in his hands. "Why did I leave you alone?"

"Because you're sick," Chris put an icy cold hand on Darren's forehead to see if he was still feverish. He wasn't. He was feeling a lot better already, which only made him feel worse.

"I still want to help," Darren mumbled, stroking the line of Chris' jaw with his thumbs. "Let me help."

Chris swallowed and nodded.

Darren went down to the kitchen and hugged his mother tightly for a few seconds, needing to relieve some of the tension in his body, before asking her where the Arnica was. She told him without asking any questions, knowing they could talk later and that what Darren needed now was to be with Chris and vice versa. So Darren ran back upstairs to his parents' bathroom and rummaged through the cabinets until he found the cream.

Chris had changed into Darren's sweatpants, but was still shirtless, sitting on the edge of Darren's bed. Darren looked at him with the tiniest smile.

"Lay down on your stomach," he asked gently.

Chris obliged, wincing with every movement, but sighing as soon as he got comfortable, his back not touching anything. Darren sat beside him and very carefully started spreading the cream over the bruises. When he tended to the bigger, more painful ones, he felt Chris clutching the pillow tightly and closing his eyes. He wanted to kill all of the bastards that had put Chris through all this suffering.

"Was it Damian?" He needed to know. He had to know, because he had to do something about it.

Chris didn't answer.

"Chris, please tell me."

"What for? So you can go face him down for what he did and then he hurts you, too?" Chris replied, angrily. "There's nothing we can do. There were no witnesses, except for Damian's friends and they won't say a word."

Darren knew he was right, but that didn't make it any less infuriating. He opened his mouth to say something, but Chris beat him to it.

"Honestly, I had a horrible day and all I want right now is to be able to hold my boyfriend and forget about it."

Despite the circumstances, a sad little smile tugged at Darren's lips.

"That was the first time you called me your boyfriend," he said softly, stroking Chris' damp hair.

"Yeah, well, I sort of need to concentrate on the good things in my life right now and you're definitely the best one," Chris murmured, a little sleepily, as he buried his face in Darren's pillow.

Darren sighed and got into bed, too, carefully pulling the blankets over both of them and letting Chris snuggle closer, careful not to wrap him in his arms so he wouldn't hurt him. Instead, he kept stroking his chestnut hair over and over soothingly.

"Chris?" He whispered, just when the boy was right on the edge of sleep.

"Mm?" Chris hummed.

"I love you," Darren said, clearly, simply, sincerely.

Chris snapped his eyes opened and tilted his neck a little to be able to look Darren in the eyes. The love he saw in them calmed his pain even more than the medicine that Darren so gently had applied. He decided to take the jump, to take the risk. The chance of getting his heart broken remained. But it was the chance of losing this happiness if he didn't cling to it hard enough that made him risk it.

And Darren was the only happiness he knew.

"I love you, too, Dare," he answered at last, earning a sweet smile from his boyfriend.

No more words were necessary and soon they were both fast asleep, holding tightly onto the person they loved and wishing they never had to let go.

* * *

It was a couple weeks later when Darren noticed the absence of something that had been omnipresent when he first met Chris, and during all those first encounters.

"What happened to that notebook you were always writing in during lunch and between classes?" He asked one afternoon, as he was sitting on the floor with his back resting against the bed. Chris was flopped down on his stomach, playing with his curls as he read his American History textbook while Darren solved Math equations with his own textbook propped up against his bent knees. "Did you finish whatever story it was that you were writing?"

"I wasn't writing a story," Chris answered absently, letting one of Darren's curls wind around his finger then repeatedly letting it snap back into place.

"Then, what was it?" Darren let his head drop back so he could look at his boyfriend.

"I used it when I needed to talk to someone. I had a notebook and I wrote about my day and all of that, because there wasn't anyone listening before," Chris explained, making a dismissive gesture with his hand as if it didn't matter.

"So why don't you write in it anymore?" Darren asked. In his opinion, any creative outlet was good and worth pursuing.

"Because I have _you_ now," Chris replied, in a tone of voice that said it should be obvious.

Darren felt his heart melting, when he understood what Chris meant.

What was the point in clinging to something made of paper, when he had a real life version that was a thousand times better?

* * *

Chris was clinging to the edges of a pleasant dream when he was suddenly shaken out of it. He opened his confused eyes, expecting to see his mom in the pale morning light, telling him he was late for school (until he remembered it was actually Saturday), but instead he found darkness and the ambiguous outline of a head full of curls barely visible in the faint light coming from the hallway.

Chris growled in protest, reaching for the switch of his lamp and tuning it on. Darren's smiling face was the first thing he saw.

"Dare? What are you doing here? What's going on?" He asked, sitting up against the headboard.

"Good morning," Darren leaned in and kissed the corner of Chris' mouth.

"Morning?" Chris glanced at the window, even more confused. "It's the middle of the night."

"It's not, it's almost dawn," Darren said as if it made any difference. "Come on, get up."

"Wait," Chris closed his eyes, tried to put his thoughts in order. "How did you even get in here?"

"Your dad let me in," Darren shrugged.

"But… _why_?" Chris allowed himself to slide down into bed again and hugged his pillow, burying his face in it. It was much too early to be up on a Saturday.

Darren flopped down beside him, wrapping his arms around Chris' waist and pulling him closer until Chris' back was glued to his chest. He kissed the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. "Because I have plans for us and we need to start early. Now, don't make me drag your lazy, yet admittedly nice, really, really nice ass out of bed."

If it wasn't because Chris was still half asleep, he would've flushed because of Darren's words and the idea that he had been admiring his ass. But, in his state of blissful sleepiness, he just hummed happily and laced their fingers together, pulling one of Darren's hands up to his chest. "Or you could shut up and just sleep with me for a couple more hours."

"Mm, tempting," Darren nuzzled against his shoulder.

"See? I knew you were smart," Chris smiled and burrowed further into the pillow. "Now turn the light off and let's go back to sl-…"

"No," Darren said, as if he had suddenly remembered he had gone there with a mission. "Please, I swear you'll like it, but you need to get up or we won't have enough time."

Chris groaned in frustration, but he already knew Darren well enough that he was sure his boyfriend wouldn't give up so easily. So, certain that he wouldn't be getting any more sleep any time soon, he pushed the blankets off. "Fine. But I want coffee."

"I'll go get you some while you get ready," Darren said with the biggest grin Chris had ever seen. He kissed his temple before jumping off the bed. "I'll be right back!"

Chris forced himself out of bed and into the shower to try to wake himself up. He stood under the water for a few extra minutes, as he let a lazy smile spread on his lips. He didn't know what Darren had in mind, but he did know one thing: his boyfriend was amazing.

He wandered back into his room, only wearing his underwear, hurriedly reaching for the first thing he could find to cover himself when he discovered Darren was sitting on his bed, two cups of coffee on the bedside table, waiting for him.

Darren's eyes went a little darker at the display of so much of Chris' deliciously pale skin, but he did his best to pretend the sight didn't take his breath away.

Chris slipped into the first t-shirt and pair of jeans he grabbed from his closet and then walked back to the bed. Darren extended one of the cups to him. "Thanks, Dare."

"You're welcome," Darren said, taking a sip of his own coffee.

"Aren't you going to tell me where we are going?" Chris asked, as he sat on the edge of the bed and to put his shoes on.

"Nope," Darren grinned mischievously. "But I'm going to need your car keys because I'm driving."

"Oh, no, no, no," Chris snorted. "No way."

"You don't trust me?" Darren pouted.

"I have barely seen you behind a wheel before, I think I have the right to be a little wary," Chris rolled his eyes.

Darren put his cup down on the bedside table and crawled his way to Chris. He rested his forehead against his shoulder. "Do you honestly believe I would do something stupid while you're with me?"

Chris' insides melted and his heart started beating faster. He had no idea how he had ended up crossing paths and falling in love with someone as sweet as Darren, but he had won the lottery.

Maybe a greater power was trying to make it up to him after fucking up most of the other aspects of his life.

"You're such a dork," he whispered, but he was smiling so widely his face hurt.

"But you love me anyway, right?," Darren looked up at him with intense, beautiful hazel eyes.

Sighing, Chris leaned in to capture Darren's lips with his, stopping for a second to murmur against them. "I really, really do."

* * *

Darren had only been driving for half an hour or so with Clovis left far behind, when the sun started coming out. Without explanation, Darren stopped the car by the side of the road. They were surrounded by fields and sky and solitude and it was perfect. They carefully climbed to the hood of the car, holding each other tightly because of the early morning breeze and watched as the day was born.

Chris wondered if that was what freedom felt like.

* * *

Now that the sun was out and they felt like they could disturb the peace, they turned up the radio and sang along to pretty much every song. Darren's guitar was in the backseat and he ached to play a few songs, but he had to keep driving or they wouldn't make it there in time.

Chris had already heard Darren singing a few times. After all, the boy was always creating music, one way or the other. But this was the first time he felt confident enough to sing a little bit, too.

After a couple of minutes, he realized Darren had stopped singing to listen to him. He blushed, but didn't say anything. He was used to being criticized about his voice.

"You have the most breathtakingly beautiful voice I've ever heard," Darren muttered under his breath, chancing a quick glance at him and the love reflected in his hazel eyes made Chris' chest tighten, overwhelmed.

A little more confidently, Chris started singing louder and clearer.

Darren kept his mouth shut and just listened, entranced.

* * *

At some point, Chris had drowsed off with his head resting against the window so Darren lowered the volume on the stereo to let him sleep for a little while.

It was almost ten in the morning when they arrived. It seemed as if the city of San Francisco was opening its arms to receive them: it was a sunny day and even though it was a little chilly, the weather was perfect to walk around and enjoy the views. People were already coming and going, engrossed in their weekend routines and activities. Darren took a deep breath. It felt good to be back.

He leaned over the gap between the seats and pressed his lips to Chris' temple. "Wake up, sleepyhead," he said softly into his ear.

A lazy smile appeared on Chris' face. "Mm, what?"

"We're here," Darren answered.

Chris opened his eyes, blinking slowly and taking in the city. "We are… where are we?"

"San Francisco," Darren replied, unbuckling Chris' seatbelt.

"San… What are we doing here?" Chris turned to look at Darren.

"Consider this our very first date," Darren grinned.

Chris smiled even wider.

"Are you ready?" Darren asked, squeezing his hand. Chris nodded, enthusiastically. "Good. Let's start with another cup of coffee so we're both really awake."

Darren parked right in front of a Starbucks. It was quite crowded, so they stood in line and Chris scanned the list of drinks, trying to decide what to get. Darren silently slipped behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him closer to his chest.

Chris flinched and tried to step away from Darren's embrace, even more so when Darren place a little kiss to the side of his neck. "Darren, no… the people…"

"You're forgetting where we are, right?" Darren tightened his grip and nuzzled his nose into Chris' soft hair. "Look around, Chris."

Still a bit nervous, Chris looked around the coffee house. Most of the tables were already occupied and his eyes fell first on a couple of men around ten years older than them that were holding hands on top on the table as they talked to each other intimately. There were other same sex couples around the room and no one seemed to spare a second look at them. There were no faces reflecting disgust or discomfort.

"We can be ourselves here," Darren whispered into his ear. "We can walk around hand in hand and I can kiss you in the middle of the street without anyone thinking we are doing something wrong. And I'm going to do that."

Chris turned around in his arms to face him. "You're fantastic, did you know that?"

"Oh, well," Darren feigned modesty. "I do my best."

"What can I get you, boys?" A cheerful voice interrupted and they noticed they had somehow moved to the front of the line.

"A latte for me, please, and my boyfriend would like…" Darren left the phrase suspended in the air, waiting for Chris to fill in the blank.

Chris had to force the tempo of his heart to slow down for a moment. "I'll have the same," he ended up saying, unable to remember how to order coffee.

"And add a couple of bagels, please," Darren slipped the money on the counter before Chris even had time to get out his wallet.

Once they had their coffees and bagels in a paper bag, they returned to the car. Darren drove a few more blocks before stopping again and telling Chris to follow him. Chris did, without hesitation.

They were at the pier. They sat down, with their legs hanging off the edge of a wooden dock, high enough that they couldn't reach the water and had their breakfast in companionable silence. It was nice, breathing the scent of the sea and feeling the warmth of Darren's body so close to his, not having to worry if he wanted to cuddle into him to shield away from the cold breeze.

"So… what are your plans for the day? Any places that you consider a must see for a first time visitor like me?" Chris asked, as he leaned against Darren's side.

"I have a couple of things in mind, yes," Darren kissed his temple before taking a bite of his bagel. "Do you have any requests?"

Chris let his gaze wander as he thought. This city was so beautiful. The outline of the Golden Gate Bridge was on the left and the calm, endless water wrapped all around them. He knew a few things about San Francisco, he had a bit of an idea of where they could go, which places were big tourist spots… but there was only one thing he really had to see.

"Would you show me the place where you grew up?" He said, looking up at Darren.

Darren seemed pleasantly surprised. "That's what you want to do?"

"Yeah, if you'd like to show me," Chris smiled.

"I'd love to show you," Darren smiled, too.

They finished their breakfast and stayed there, just holding each other, for a few more minutes, before finally walking back to the car, hand in hand.

Darren drove around the city a bit, mostly pointing out places that he had always liked. Chris fell in love with Lombard Street and its curves, with how colorful it was with its flowerbeds trailing the sides of the road. There seemed to be a different kind of vibe there than the one he familiar with back in Clovis.

Chris was in love and he had barely begun to see the city. There was still so much more to discover.

* * *

After some aimless seeming wandering around, Darren slowed until the car was completely still.

"Here we are," he said, nodding towards the house they had just parked in front of. Chris followed his gaze.

It was a typical two story house, with the same architecture as many other houses in San Francisco. In fact, almost every house in that block looked the same, and Chris thought it was sort of charming. This particular house was painted in a very pale shade of blue. The _SOLD_ sign was still in the front yard, and there were no hints of life stirring inside the house.

"It looks empty," Chris commented. Darren leaned closer to him to take a better look.

"Yeah. I think my Dad said something about the sale not closing until about a week ago, so maybe they haven't moved in yet." Darren got out of the car and Chris followed. They both stood there, just staring at the house for a moment. "Want to get a closer look?"

"Yes," Chris nodded. Darren took his hand.

They crossed the yard and Darren peeked into one of the windows. It was dark inside and as empty as they had anticipated. "This is the living room," he said and Chris shielded his eyes from the sunshine so he could see. Darren continued walking to the side of the house, stopping at every window and telling Chris about the different rooms where he had grown up. He showed him the spot where he had slipped in the kitchen and almost cracked his head open after wrestling with Chuck one afternoon, the place where the big piano that Chris had seen in the Criss' current home and where his favorite couch used to be. He told Chris he would sit there with his dad when he was like five years old and listen to him read from books or magazines or anything Darren would find interesting.

When they reached the backyard, Darren's eyes filled with nostalgia. Chris followed his gaze and realized Darren was staring at a tree house. Before he had time to say anything, his boyfriend was running towards the tree and climbing up the rickety steps.

"Darren!" Chris exclaimed, going after him. "Get back here, we're going to get in trouble!"

"No, we're not!" Darren laughed, as he reached the lower branches. "Come on, Chris!"

Chris rolled his eyes but, after taking a look around and making sure none of the neighbors were watching, he climbed the tree, too. Darren had already slipped into the house.

It was small for two guys their age, but Chris imagined a little Darren there and it seemed so, so perfect. It was mostly empty, except for a few leaves that had probably flown in through the little window, a couple of spider webs and a little wooden box in a corner, that Darren was examining.

"I forgot this was here," he said, distracted. Chris crawled his way to him and sat by his side, peeking over his shoulder into the box.

There were time-worn postcards, tiny toy soldiers, a crumpled comic book and a collection of different rocks, stamps and other stuff only a kid would consider valuable. Both boys smiled down at Darren's memories.

"Chuck and I put all of these in here," he murmured, rolling a marble around in his hand. "We used to come up here and play all day. Sometimes we would even come here to do our homework. I even go my first kiss up here."

Chris quirked an eyebrow, charmed. "Really?"

"Yeah. It happened during Chuck's thirteenth birthday party so there were lots of our friends from school and the neighborhood over. Sally Williams, who used to live in that house over there," Darren pointed at a house a couple of streets down through the window, "asked me to show her the tree house. I really liked her, so I helped her climb up the steps and we were talking and then somehow we kissed. It was a really stupid kiss, now that I think about it, but it seemed important back then."

Chris pictured a really young Darren with messy curls, having his first crush and being overly excited because he got to spend time with the girl he liked and even kissed her. It was an adorable image.

As he let his imagination float, his eyes fell on something that caught his attention on one of the walls. He crawled closer to see what it was.

Someone had carved words and little drawings in the wood. Most of them looked like numbers, dates, others said things like _Chuck was here_. Chris traced his fingers over the letters and numbers and memories.

"Do you want me to carve our names in a heart?" Darren said, teasingly, evidently joking. "Wouldn't that be the cheesiest cliché ever?"

Chris nodded absently, the tips of his fingers still moving over the wood. "It would."

Darren tilted his head to the side. "What are you thinking about?"

"Clichés. Or the things people call clichés," Chris shrugged, letting his hand fall, though his eyes were still fixed on the wall in front of him. "It's weird to think that there aren't enough clichés in my life…"

"And you want them?" Darren asked, frowning.

"I don't know if I _want_ them, I just know that I feel like they're missing, as if my life story has a chapter of them that is still left blank," Chris looked pensive. "Milestones and small things I didn't experience simply because I'm what I am, because I'm different, because nothing has ever really worked out the way it should have."

Darren moved closer, grabbed something from the box and sat next to Chris, nuzzling his neck. "I can be your big cliché if you want me to."

"You can't be my big cliché," Chris chuckled, turning his head to the side so he could kiss Darren's temple.

"Because I'm tiny?" Darren bit his lip. Chris loved him just that little bit more in that very second.

"Because you're extraordinary," Chris answered simply.

Darren kissed him passionately, making Chris get lost in that kiss, yielding his whole body until he relaxed against him.

When they pulled away, Darren turned to the wall and started carving, using a Swiss army knife he had found in the box. Chris watched him work, as the inscription D&C surrounded by a crooked, imperfect heart was cut into the wood.

"There," Darren smiled after a couple of minutes, and sat back to enjoy his masterpiece. "Do you think that's good enough?"

"It's perfect," Chris grinned as his hand found its way into Darren's.

They lay there for what felt like forever, holding each other and letting their eyes move from the ceiling to the little sliver of sky that shower in the window.

They didn't talk for a while, too busy replacing the past with the new memories they were slowly building together.

* * *

Darren broke the silence, tilting his head to the side to make sure Chris hadn't fallen asleep, but his blue eyes were still open and staring up, though Darren had the feeling his boyfriend wasn't really seeing the roof of the tree house. He was seeing something else, something out of his reach, something Darren couldn't understand yet.

"Do you want to stay a bit longer?" Darren whispered, shifting even closer to Chris.

"No, it's okay," Chris answered, turning his face towards Darren, a little smile gracing his lips. "Where else are you taking me?"

"To the stars," Darren muttered, closing the gap to press his lips to Chris', who couldn't help but laugh a bit into the kiss.

"You stole that line from Titanic," he snorted.

"Doesn't make it any less true," Darren shrugged and kissed him again.

They climbed down the precarious steps. Chris gallantly held his hand out to help Darren and Darren fluttered his eyes at him as he sighed exaggeratedly. Linking hands, they went back to the car and Darren drove around, showing Chris more places he remembered from when he was younger.

They stopped by Darren's old school, a huge, old building that looked too elegant, too somber for someone as carefree as Darren. Chris couldn't imagine him wearing the uniform Darren described to him. He couldn't picture Darren wearing anything but jeans and shirts and hoodies and those messy curls and socks that didn't match. That was the way Chris liked him, the way he loved him: disregarding the rules, unique, untamable.

By lunch time, they had already seen at least half of the city, though they didn't stop to admire as much as Chris would've liked to. Darren promised they would have other opportunities, that this wasn't their last visit.

There was a cute little diner at the corner of two busy streets. It was colorful, with booths that bordered all around the edge of the place, with a 50s style that wasn't too tacky. Darren told him he had often come here with Chuck, almost every weekend, before his brother left for college. He said he hadn't felt like coming back since then.

"Would you prefer we go somewhere else?" Chris asked, frowning, already putting down the menu he had been reading.

"No," Darren's hand crossed the table and grasped Chris', tightly. "I like that we're here together."

They got lost smiling at each other for so long that when the waitress came, they hadn't even glanced at the menus. Darren knew it by heart and ordered a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate milkshake. Chris, not wanting to remove his eyes from the beautiful boy sitting across the table from him, ordered the same, but asked for a Diet Coke instead of a milkshake. The waitress left them alone and it was only then that Chris realized he hadn't even felt anxious or awkward at all knowing she had seen them holding hands.

He wished he could stay in that state of easiness and freedom forever.

* * *

When they finished eating, Darren suggested they visit Chinatown, saying Chris couldn't leave San Francisco without going there first. Chris had decided to follow Darren without hesitation for the day, and so far he'd felt nothing but pure bliss.

The streets were crowded and soon they discovered there was a parade about to start. Paper lanterns hung from the ceilings of the stores and buildings around them, and from wires that crossed the streets above their heads. People were clogging the roads dressed in eccentric outfits, wearing huge masks that represented dragons, snakes and other animals, making Chris gaze around them in fascination.

Darren kept a firm hold of his hand, making sure the multitude wouldn't separate them, and spoke over the sound of fireworks filling the air. "Too loud?" He shouted, leaning closer to Chris' ear.

"A little bit, but this is amazing," Chris replied, smiling. His eyes fell on a weird-looking bazar just a few feet away from them. "Let's go!"

They visited several stores. Darren was used to the exotic products one could find there, but Chris had never been to a Chinese market in his life and found everything enthralling. Darren stood behind him, watching his enthusiasm with a delighted grin on his face. He had never seen Chris like this, and he was so beautiful. He wished he could make Chris smile more often, he wished he could make him feel as safe as he seemed to feel there so he wouldn't have to see the apprehension fill his stunning eyes, so he wouldn't have to see the smile vanishing from his face, being replaced by a wariness that shouldn't exist in any eighteen year old boy.

Chris bought a pretty porcelain doll dressed in a fancy pink silk robe for his sister and kept the bag pressed against his chest, so it wouldn't be crushed by people walking by and break. They found a good spot to watch the parade and stood there for a moment, enveloped by the music, the colors and the excitement around them. Darren stood behind him and kept his arms wrapped around Chris' waist all the time, enjoying the warmth of his boyfriend's body.

He nibbled playfully at his earlobe and Chris shivered against his chest, as his breath caught in his throat. "Having fun?"

Chris nodded, causing the light stubble on Darren's chin to scratch against the sensitive skin of his neck, which sent a second shiver down his spine. "This is all so great. Can we stay here forever?"

Darren smiled. "I'd love to. But I need to get you home by midnight, as your Dad reminded me several times this morning."

"I've never really been anywhere outside of Clovis without them. They were probably a little worried," Chris reasoned as he watched a huge dragon made of different types of fabric pass in front of them.

"I was thinking I'd get you home at eleven fifty, just to show them I want to take good care of you," Darren teased, as he let his lips brush against Chris' jaw.

"Maybe I should come up with a similar strategy to prove the same thing to your parents," Chris said, feigning thoughtfulness.

"Pff," Darren snorted, amused. "They already know what you do to me. I've been brushing my hair every morning since we started dating."

"I should probably be horrified by the idea of the previous seventeen years of your life with your hair un-brushed, but somehow, I'm not surprised," Chris sighed and rolled his eyes. He moved his head slightly to the side so he could look at Darren. It struck him how beautiful he looked under the rays of sunlight, how the light seemed to make his eyes golden and sparkly and breathtaking.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Darren asked with an unsure, silly smile.

"Because you're beautiful," Chris said simply and then moved forward to kiss him, ignoring the crowd, ignoring the noise, ignoring the fears he had felt for so many years, because in Darren's arms, in this place, in this moment, he felt safe.

* * *

Time seemed to fly when there was so much to see and to do and before they knew it, night started making its way over Chinatown. They decided to have dinner before driving back to Clovis, so they bought Chinese food at one of Darren's favorite take out places and then got in the car. After being surrounded by so many people all day, a little silence and a moment to enjoy each other alone was all they wanted. They went to a park where Darren used to play football with his friends after school, and parked the car on top of a little hill that overlooked the bay.

Grabbing a blanket and the guitar Darren had put in the backseat, they climbed on the hood of the car just as they had done earlier that day to watch the dawn and watched the last minutes of the sunset as they ate. Darren played his guitar quietly, and Chris didn't mind that he couldn't recognize any of the melodies, because they were beautiful anyway.

Soon the moon and the stars took over the dark sky. Chris wrapped the blanket tighter around himself and sighed, resting his head on Darren's shoulder.

"Is something wrong?" Darren asked, with his fingers paused as he waited for an answer.

"No," Chris said, nuzzling a little closer. "I was just thinking about how amazing today was."

Darren grinned and leaned his head to kiss Chris' forehead. "I'm glad you had fun."

"I don't want to leave," Chris muttered, in a low, almost sad voice. "It's so nice here, so different. It's almost as if I had stepped into another world."

"We can go back as many times as you want," Darren assured him. "There was so much I still wanted to do… one day just isn't enough."

There was a minute of silence and then Chris cleared his throat. "Do you think… do you think that maybe next time we can stop by to see what the University is like?"

Darren blinked in confusion. "You're thinking about applying to USF?"

Chris shrugged and tugged at his blanket. "Maybe."

"I… I was thinking about it, too," Darren said. "My other choice was Michigan, but I would rather come here. It has a great Performing Arts department."

They were silent, again, as what they were saying seemed to suddenly make sense, all the pieces dropping into place. Looking at each other with wide eyes, Darren grabbed his hand.

"So… are we both going to try to get into the same college?"

"That's what it looks like," Chris said with a timid smile.

"I guess that means… that means we can still be together next year," Darren held his breath, hoping he hadn't gone too far with that and scared Chris.

Chris quirked an inquiring eyebrow. "You were thinking about ditching me if you went to Michigan?"

Darren bit his lip. "I was wondering if you'd maybe want to get rid of _me_."

Chris' fingers found their way into Darren's hair, tangling in the messy curls. "I'm happy for the first time in forever. I'd be really stupid to let you go…"

Darren crashed their mouths together without warning, too desperate to wait and see if Chris wanted to say something else. He moved the hand still holding his guitar to awkwardly set the instrument down, so he could properly hold Chris and pull him closer.

Chris slipped a bit against the windshield and ended up lying on his back with Darren half on top of him. That didn't stop the kiss, though, it seemed to actually increase the passion as Darren moved to try and get more comfortable. Chris' arms flew up to surround Darren's neck and keep him in place, as he opened his mouth to let Darren's tongue wander inside.

It shot an immediate wave of pleasure through their bodies followed by the need to instantly recreate the feeling. The chaste, innocent kisses they had shared so far, barely daring to touch their tongues to the other's lips were not enough anymore.

Darren shifted just enough so their chests were glued together and he cursed the layers of clothing that separated their skin because just imagining what it could feel like if there weren't anything between them made his blood boil.

The problem came when not even that was enough, so they started pressing closer, they started kissing more desperately, they started gripping tightly at each other. Darren didn't even realized he had started rutting against Chris' hip until he felt Chris' erection pressing against his thigh.

Their lips were parted with a popping noise and Darren stared down at Chris with wide, confused, scared eyes.

"Oh my God, Chris, I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…" He swallowed, trying to put his thoughts in order, trying to move his hips away, but the pressure felt so _good_.

Chris' response was a long, keening whine that paralyzed Darren completely. "Oh my god, Darren, shut up and keep going."

Darren groaned low in his throat and let his hips fall back into place, this time managing to slot their cocks together, which caused both boys to moan in surprise. Neither of them had ever felt something like this, and as they experienced for the first time how the sparks travelled through them, sending spirals of pleasure everywhere, they wondered why they hadn't started earlier.

"Dare, this is so… _oh_," Chris gasped when he felt the hard outline of Darren's cock touching the head of his own, so sensitive, aching for release. Instinctively, Chris lifted his legs and wrapped them around Darren's waist.

"Oh, shit, _shit_," Darren growled at the change of angle that made everything even more perfect, and once again his head was filled with images of less clothes and more skin, and thinking of Chris naked and spread like this around him pushed him further towards the edge. "I-I can't hold it much longer…"

Chris nodded frantically, biting his lip to keep the sounds caged, as he started urgently thrusting up to meet Darren's movements.

"No, no…" Darren whimpered, reaching up to brush the tips of his fingers against Chris' jaw. "Please… I want to hear you… when you come…"

The highest pitched moan Darren had ever heard escaped from Chris' lips at those words and he felt his boyfriend shaking in tremors underneath him. Just knowing he had made Chris come (_Oh my God, I made Chris come_) was enough for Darren to follow, and after one more thrust he was also groaning and spilling inside his pants.

Their heaving breaths were the only sounds breaking the quiet of the night around them. It took them a moment to come down from their highs, still incredulous at what had just happened. Finally, Darren lifted his head from where he had rested it on Chris' shoulder to look at his boyfriend.

"Chris?" He murmured, nervously. He knew physical contact could freak Chris out and they hadn't talked about going this far, about what else was okay for them to do. "Are you alright?"

Chris' eyes were closed, his lips parted, his cheeks blushed. Darren felt his heart stopping when a tear started trailing down Chris' face.

"No, no, no, Chris, please, don't cry," he said, raising a shaky hand to wipe the tear away. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you into anything, I just…"

The lazy, slow smile spreading on Chris' face was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Stop freaking out, Dare."

Darren sighed in relief and nuzzled against his neck. "I just don't want to ruin anything."

"You couldn't," Chris turned his head to the side and kissed the top of his boyfriend's head.

"Then why are you crying?" Darren looked up and frowned as another tear made its way down' Chris' cheek.

"Because I've never thought I could have this," Chris' hand started rubbing Darren's back up and down slowly. "I've never thought someone would like me enough to want to do that with me…"

"Oh Chris, if you only knew the things I want to do with you…" Darren mumbled and then his eyes widened in realization. "I… I mean, not that I… Don't think I'm a pervert or… it's just that you have such a nice body that… but it's not like I want you just for the way you look and I… I swear I like everything about you, but it's not like I can think about how smart and kind you are when I'm in the shower getting… oh, crap!"

To Darren's surprise, Chris started laughing hysterically. "Oh my God, Darren."

"Please don't be mad at me," Darren pouted, embarrassed.

"How could I be mad at you because you want me?" Chris cupped his boyfriend's face in his hands, smiling at him softly. "It's flattering."

"Is it?" Darren looked so adorably hopeful that Chris had to lean in and peck him on the lips.

"Yes," he nodded. They kissed again, long and lazily, but Chris pulled away before they could get carried away again. "I'm so uncomfortable right now…"

"I know," Darren huffed, palming the front of his jeans, feeling the stickiness in his underwear. "We have to drive back to Clovis like this. We should've taken our pants off."

"Maybe next time," Chris said, suggestively and Darren groaned. "Come on, let's go."

They got into the car and reluctantly made their way back into reality.

* * *

**What did you guys think of this chapter? I can't wait to hear your comments on it!**

**There's only one more part left (remember I told you this is actually a one-shot that ended being too long to be posted all in one go so I divided it in five?). I can't really tell you when it'll be up. I'll be going away from tomorrow and I still don't know when I'm coming back, but I certainly need a few days off now that I'm on a break from school. I should be back sometime next week, but I can't promise the end will be up then. We'll have to see! Be patient with me, lovelies! :)**

**Have a wonderful time! See you guys again, soon! :)**

**L.-**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi, guys!**

**Welcome to the last chapter of The Other Side of Down. I hope you'll enjoy it!**

**Please read the author's note at the end.**

**I own nothing!**

* * *

The bubble of happiness they'd wrapped around them on the weekend popped as soon as Monday came and the disgusted looks and insults followed them down the halls again.

Chris closed his eyes, tried not to listen to the hate being thrown at him, and forced himself to think of that day in San Francisco, of the touch of Darren's velvety lips, of the rush of pleasure he felt when their hands fitted together when they were walking down the street without feeling like they were being judged by anyone around them.

He treasured that imagine in his mind and started counting the days left in this hell.

* * *

Darren left his History class and stopped at his locker to leave his books before lunch. He opened the metal door and stared at the picture hung there, of Chris sitting in the backyard with one of his dogs, his face scrunched in one of those beautiful, honest smiles of his. Hannah had given it to Darren the last time he had gone to the Colfers' house and he treasured it. He loved looking at it between classes. It gave him as much strength as the real life Chris that he was supposed to meet in the cafeteria in a few minutes.

The shove was completely unexpected. Until now, the abuse he had received had never been physical. The sting of the locker door hitting his shoulder shot pain all over his left side and he tripped on his own feet to try and balance himself, almost falling on his butt on the floor.

"See you later, cocksucker!"

Darren had never been bullied in his life. He had always been the guy everyone likes, the guy who makes everyone laugh, who was always surrounded by friends. This was new and strange. Dealing with words, even if they were painful, was one thing. He could pretend to be deaf, he could raise his head and know he was a better person. But this? This wasn't something that he could ignore.

"Dare?" A soft, loving voice whispered with concern. Darren looked up and found Chris' blue eyes staring back at him. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine, I just… whoa." Darren blinked. "I've never…"

Chris smiled sadly. "I know." He lifted his hand as if to touch Darren's shoulder and hesitated. "You want me to take a look at it?"

"I'm fine, sweetheart, really, I just…"

"Oh my gosh, could you _be_ more disgusting?" Casey said as she walked by, rolling her eyes and glancing at them as if they were nothing but garbage.

Darren started having trouble breathing. "I'm sorry, Casey, is there a problem?"

"Of course there's a problem," she answered, quirking an eyebrow. "You two are the problem. The school doesn't need to see what you…"

"So what you're saying is that you don't want to see me talking to my boyfriend at my own locker," Darren's voice started getting louder with every word. The people in the hallway grew silent and turned to look at them. "Don't you and Damian do that? Don't you stop by his locker to talk to him?"

"It's not the same, Darren!" She crossed her arms over her chest, offended.

"Because we're two boys? Because everyone in this fucking town is too closed-minded to realize that it doesn't matter?" Chris had never seen Darren so furious and he wasn't sure what to do. "No one can choose who to fall in love with, Casey. And if that was possible, I would still pick Chris. He's so much better than all of you."

"You're both _so_ going to hell…" Casey rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yeah? Then you're going, too," Darren replied, Chris' hand closing around his wrist keeping him from going any closer to her. "You've slept with every guy in this school. You even tried to get into my pants the first day I transferred here. What does that say about you?"

"That's not true!" Casey squealed, looking around with wide eyes. Chris snorted. "Shut up, fag!"

"Hey!" Darren exclaimed and his eyes flamed with anger. "No more name-calling or shoving or humiliation! From now on, if you don't like seeing us together, look the other way!"

"Or else what?"

"You think I would fall as low as you and actually bribe you or threaten you with something? I don't care what you do, Casey, and you and the rest of the idiots in this school shouldn't care about us, either," Darren said. He moved his hand down until his fingers were linked with Chris'. "I'm just letting you know how things are going to be from now on. You won't say anything to us about being together and we won't say anything about you being a slut."

Casey gasped, horrified. "How dare you?" She moved forward as if to slap Darren in the face.

Chris caught her hand before she could even get close. "Don't you dare put your dirty hands on my boyfriend."

The bell rang and a teacher chose that moment to walk down the hallway, so the crowd began to dissipate, behaving as if nothing had happened. Casey jerked her hand free and walked away from them, seething with fury.

Chris and Darren stood completely frozen.

"I can't believe I actually said that."

"I can't believe we did this."

They looked at each other and Darren immediately melted into Chris' arms.

"You know this won't actually change anything, right?" Chris whispered in his ear.

"I know," Darren said, sadly. "But it felt nice to say it anyway."

"The look on her face was priceless," Chris smiled. He brushed a stray curl out of Darren's eyes. He sighed. "This might even make things worse."

"Do you really care at this point?" Darren looked defeated. It nearly broke Chris' heart because he never looked defeated.

Chris gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I've always cared."

Darren took a deep breath. "One hundred and sixty five days."

"And then it'll be over," Chris nodded.

"We'll leave them behind."

"It'll be just you and me."

They both sighed, wishing they could kiss, wishing time could go by faster, wishing tomorrow didn't seem so far away.

* * *

They sent away their college applications at the end of January. They both decided to apply to San Francisco and one of the other schools they had considered before they actually discussed it. Darren chose Michigan and Chris chose Los Angeles. They both secretly hoped they wouldn't get into those, and that they would both end up in San Francisco together.

Neither knew what they would do if they had to be hundreds of miles apart from each other.

It had been so hard to find what they had now. Letting go wasn't an option they wanted to consider.

* * *

Their oasis of happiness was limited to the moments when they got to be together behind closed doors. In school, they were still being frowned upon, stared at, and pointed at as if they were animals on display in a zoo. Chris hated it. He'd had enough and he desperately wanted it to stop. Darren rubbed his back, kissed his cheek and told him to hang in there.

The months ahead seemed eternal.

Other boys their age were eager to spend time outside, to go to the cinema, or go out to dinner, anywhere they could be out of their parents view. Darren and Chris, though, were quite the contrary. They volunteered to babysit Hannah when Chris' parents wanted to have a night to themselves, or they stayed at the Criss' place for dinner on Friday nights, doing homework and watching movies.

The only times they weren't hidden in the safety of their homes, they were in Chris' car. They liked to drive for hours, with no destination, getting away from the world they knew, the world that kept rejecting them. They would stop at some random point, usually a field in the middle of nowhere, and they would stand under the sky, where anyone could see, but where there were no eyes to actually do it, and they would kiss. They would kiss for hours, until their lips were chapped and desire ran like liquid fire through their veins, possessing them completely.

Chris' absolute favorite thing to do, they saved for when they both felt the most vulnerable. After a particularly bad day at school, or when the anxiety of still not receiving any acceptance (or rejection) letters from the schools they had applied to, they would lock themselves into one or the other's room, lift the blankets on the bed and slide under the sheets and covers until they were hidden from the world completely. Cocooned in that warm nest out of the reach of everything that brought them down, they would talk in whispers. Mostly, they talked about their dreams and their fears. Sometimes they simply stayed silent, holding hands and staring into each other's eyes. Sometimes that was enough.

* * *

It was one of those days. Chris had a new bruise on his back and Darren's Math textbook was completely ruined after having been thrown into a toilet. Without saying a word, they had left school as soon as the bell rang, drove to Chris' house and snuggled into his bed. The semi-darkness provided by the blankets made them sigh in relief and Darren immediately reached for Chris' hand.

Chris shifted until he could press his forehead against Darren's. "I used to be braver. I used to talk back and pretend what they said didn't hurt."

Darren's smile was sad. "That's bringing you down, isn't it? Not being able to make them eat their own words?"

"Last time I talked back I ended up trapped in a locker for like two hours," Chris answered. "You found me."

Darren kissed the tip of his nose. "I did."

"I don't think I'm going to be that lucky every time," Chris closed his eyes, the pain mixed with the blue, the grey and the green disappearing out of sight for a few seconds.

"I'll always find you every time you need me to," Darren assured him, moving his free hand to trace the outline of Chris' jaw with a finger.

"But what if you need me to find you, too?"

Darren didn't have an answer to that.

* * *

Minutes, maybe hours went by without them saying another word. Darren was convinced Chris had fallen asleep, so he was surprised when he heard his soft voice breaking the silence that had enveloped them for so long.

"Have you ever felt like you could die from wanting something so much?" He asked, quietly.

Darren frowned, moved his thumb along Chris' knuckles where they were still holding hands. "I'm not sure. What is it that you want?"

"You," Chris said, very, very softly, as if those words couldn't be said out loud outside of the little fort of love and safety they had built out of blankets.

Warmth spread all through Darren, causing his heart to pound against his chest so hard that he felt tempted to look down and check if he could see it under his shirt. "You have me."

"I want more," Chris' eyes were open now and fixed on Darren's, just a bit darker than usual, but luminous with that same desire that had been present in them that night in San Francisco. Darren had no doubts of what Chris was trying to say.

"Me too," Darren confessed, and he moved his bare foot to touch the sliver of Chris' ankle that wasn't covered by his jeans or his socks. His foot was cold and it made Chris flinch slightly.

The sound of the front door downstairs shattered the moment and the hands that were already moving, very slowly, towards belt buckles and buttons, stopped. They looked at each other and they understood without the need to say anything: not now, but soon.

* * *

The moment came just a couple of weeks later. Darren's parents were going to a friend's birthday party and the boys would have the house to themselves. They both knew what was going to happen as soon as they heard the car leaving. They both felt the tension as they lay on their stomachs in the living room, pretending to work on their calc homework, chewing on the ends of their pencils and kicking their legs in the air.

"I left some money for pizza in the kitchen, Darren," his father announced, as he grabbed his car keys. "And you make sure to get home before your curfew, Chris. We don't want your parents to be worried."

"I will," Chris promised and if anyone noticed the slight tremor in his voice, no one mentioned it.

Cerina kissed both of their cheeks, told them not to skip dinner and then they were gone. Chris and Darren stayed very still, waiting, making sure they weren't coming back for a forgotten wallet or birthday present. They waited with bated breath, but once their eyes met as if seeking for confirmation, all caution was gone.

They soon became a tangle of limbs, of searching mouths and pushing tongues. They had agreed not to go all the way that night, but the urge for at least some tantalizing contact of skin to skin was causing desperation to pool inside of them, driving them crazy.

At some point, they realized the floor was hard and uncomfortable. Darren pushed himself to his feet and offered his hand to Chris, immediately dragging him up to his bedroom and closing the door behind them as a preventative measure.

They stared at each other, eyes wild and pupils blown, before launching into the other's arms for another hungry kiss. Darren guided Chris towards his bed and the boy let himself fall against the pillows, his knees already feeling weak.

They undressed gradually, since Darren knew his boyfriend was nervous about having to expose his body to someone else for the first time in his life, so he made sure to calm him with kisses, to take his time with every button. At the sight of Chris' pale chest, his breath caught in his throat and his lips ached to touch and kiss and nip and worship. As he sucked gently on one of Chris' nipples, his fingers worked on the zipper of Chris' jeans.

Chris was writhing and grabbing at the bedspread, both for control and for nerves. The little wanton sounds escaping from him embarrassed him, so he was biting his lip and trying to hold them back as much as he could.

Darren looked up at Chris for confirmation before tugging at Chris' pants and underwear off all in one go to get rid of them and then there he was. His boyfriend was completely naked under him and Darren had to take a moment and admire the view because…

"Oh," he muttered as his eyes went wide.

Chris looked at him uneasily, cheeks flushed and face slightly worried. "Oh?"

"That's… that's a penis," Darren whispered, almost reverently.

Chris swallowed, feeling excruciatingly self-conscious. "If you were expecting something different we may need to talk."

"No, no, it's just…" Darren licked his lips, his eyes still glued to Chris' dick, making Chris squirm uncomfortably. "I've never seen one before."

Chris fidgeted a little. "I'm starting to feel very, very freaked out about whatever it is you're hiding in your underwear, then."

The sarcasm snapped Darren back to reality, because he knew that was the defense mechanism Chris used when he felt insecure and scared. And he was using it while he was naked in Darren's bed. Because Darren's brain had melted as soon as he saw all of his beautiful body within reach.

"God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" He shook his head and moved forward to capture Chris' lips in his. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You're so gorgeous I think I became a babbling idiot for a moment…"

Chris smiled tightly, still a bit unsure. "Okay…" He swallowed again. "I-I think I would feel a lot less freaked out if you weren't fully clothed while I'm naked, though."

That sounded like a really bright idea to Darren, so he rushed to stand up and fumbled with his clothes, tripping as he shed his pants and whacking himself in the head in his desperation to get rid of his shirt. Chris chuckled, but his amusement died away as soon as Darren was completely naked.

"Oh," he breathed in wonder, eyes going wide just as Darren's had a couple minutes ago.

"See?" Darren smiled goofily. "It's not the same as looking at your own!"

"Come back to bed," Chris said in a choked voice, blurring the words together and extending his hand to Darren, who took it without hesitating.

There was so much to touch that at first they felt intimidated and did nothing but kiss. Then Chris' fingers ventured towards Darren's chest, making the boy gasp when he discovered how soft the wispy patch of hair there was. That made Darren want to try the texture of the skin on Chris' hips, loving how tight it was on the bones there, tentatively digging into the flesh and immediately loving the strangled groan that he elicited from Chris.

They started stroking each other, timidly at first, but when the sparks of pleasure threatened to devour their whole bodies, they grew more desperate, more frantic, moving their hips in demand for more as they tried to give just as good.

Their orgasms struck them by surprise, filling them with a hot, white pleasure unmatched by anything they'd experienced before. They collapsed against each other, sticky, sweaty and panting and, with the remaining brain cells they had left, they shared a lazy, satisfied kiss.

"I love you," Darren murmured, already drifting off to sleep.

"I love you," Chris echoed, as a sweet smile appeared on his face.

"Next time I want to taste you," Darren whispered and the words sent a shiver down Chris' spine.

His filter seemed to be completely gone in his post-orgasm haze, because then he was whispering back: "And then I want to be inside of you."

Mere seconds later they were dreaming about promises they hoped would come true.

* * *

Chris got up on a Saturday morning to find two envelopes waiting for him on the kitchen table.

Both colleges had answered, and the envelopes had arrived at the same time.

He stood very still for a moment, thinking he might possibly be having a heart attack. His parents were standing on the other side of the kitchen, clutching their coffee cups tightly and looking at him with anxiety clear in their eyes.

Chris grabbed the letter from the San Francisco University and carefully picked with his nail at the flap, before taking a shaky breath and dropping it back next to the other. "I can't do it."

"But, Christopher…"

"Not yet," he said. _It's too soon to know if I have to say goodbye to Darren._

_It will always be too soon._

* * *

Being shaken awake from a really good dream is not a great way to start the day. Especially if you're having a dream about your boyfriend that inevitably causes a problem you need to take care of in the morning.

Darren was startled and sat up in the bed, convinced there was some sort of natural disaster and hoping they wouldn't have to leave the house immediately. When he saw his mother's excited, smiling face, he raised his knees to drape the covers over the obvious problem in his lap. He closed his eyes and hoped he hadn't moaned or done anything else too embarrassing.

"Mom, it's still early," he groaned in annoyance. "I still have fifteen minutes before Chris picks me up for school."

"I thought you might want to have some extra time to take a look at this," she answered as she thrust an envelope into his hands.

Darren's still unconscious brain had a hard time catching up, but then… "It's my Michigan letter."

"Yes, it is!" She said enthusiastically. "Come on, open it!"

Darren swallowed as he opened the envelope and took the letter out. His eyes scanned it very quickly.

"So, what does it say?" His mother asked, impatiently.

Darren looked up, hazel eyes a little confused, a little scared. "I-I… I got in."

Cerina squealed and jumped and squeezed him in a hug that threw Darren completely off balance. He hugged her back, but couldn't find within him the strength or the wish to smile.

* * *

Chris was going on and on about a paper they needed to write together for one of their classes, but Darren wasn't really listening to him. He had been quiet all day, which was really weird for him, and he knew Chris had noticed. The great thing about Chris was that he didn't pressure him into talking when he didn't feel like it. He made sure that Darren knew he was there when he needed him and that was it. It was just one more thing Darren could add to the list of reasons why he loved him so much.

The cafeteria buzzed with the sounds of hordes of students having lunch. Their little corner was a littler quieter, isolated as they always were, and Darren was grateful for that, even though he usually hated it. He hated that they were avoided as if they were contagious and being too close to them could be dangerous. But today… today he wanted this.

Chris fell silent when the envelope was pushed gently towards him across the table. His blue eyes dropped to it as he frowned for a second before the realization dawned on him. He swallowed before looking back up at his boyfriend.

"Michigan," he said in a low voice.

"Michigan," Darren confirmed with a jerky nod.

"Did you get in?" Chris asked uneasily.

Darren pushed the envelope toward him a little more. Chris understood and grabbed it, trying to remain as calm as possible.

He held his breath as he read and when he glanced back at Darren, he noticed his boyfriend was fidgeting and anxiously waiting for him to finish.

"You got in."

"I did," Darren choked on the words.

Chris forced a smile to his face. "Dare… that's great. I'm so proud of you!"

"You are?" Darren bit his lip. His hazel eyes were bright and Chris wondered if he was about to cry.

"Of course I am," the smile became sincere. "I'm always proud of you. Aren't you happy you got in?"

A rebellious tear escaped down Darren's cheek. "I don't want to go…"

"Oh, Darren," Chris immediately stood up, abandoning his lunch, and tugged on Darren's hand to make him follow.

Darren tripped behind him all the way out of the cafeteria, neither of them caring about the stares or the whispers. They entered the nearest bathroom and once Darren was inside, Chris pushed the door closed and stood against it to avoid anyone else coming in.

Chris opened his arms and Darren rushed to launch himself at him. Chris smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of Darren's head, loving how the curls tickled his nose. "It's okay, Dare…"

"It's not okay!" Darren exclaimed, his voice muffled because his face was pressed into Chris' neck. "I don't want to go to Michigan, Chris…"

"I thought you did," Chris frowned and pushed Darren gently so he could look at him in the eyes. "Why did you apply to a school you don't want to go to?"

"It's not the school," Darren sniffed. "It's you. I don't want to be so far away from you…"

A lump formed in Chris' throat and he had to take a couple steadying breaths not to cry, too. "Have you gotten your letter from USF yet?"

"No," Darren shook his head, miserably.

"Then, we'll wait until it's here and we'll see what we're going to do once you have that letter in your hands," Chris tried not to think about the two letters hidden in his bedside table.

Darren nodded. They held each other for what it seemed a really long time.

"This shit is too scary," Darren finally said and Chris smiled at him affectionately.

"I think it's supposed to be," Chris answered softly. He pecked him quickly on the lips.

They didn't let go of each other until the bell rang.

* * *

Darren blinked in confusion. The light of the early morning sun fell on his face and he had a hard time remembering why he was waking up in Chris' bed, with his boyfriend comfortably wrapped around him. Oh, yeah. They had stayed home with Hannah the previous night because the Colfers had gone out to dinner. They had probably drifted off to sleep at some point during the movie they had decided to watch.

He sighed in contentment, enjoying the weight of Chris' body against him. it was so nice, waking up like this.

And then he realized he hadn't called his parents to let them know he wasn't coming home.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath. He reached towards the bedside table to grab his cellphone, but it wasn't there. He looked around the room, unable to see it. He sat up carefully, to not wake Chris up, who, by the way, looked adorable and so, so beautiful that Darren had to stop for a minute and just gaze at him.

When he finally managed to snap out of his daydreaming and jerk his attention away from his boyfriend, Darren tried once again to remember where he had left his phone. He noticed the top drawer of Chris' bedside table was ajar, and he wondered if it had dropped in there at some point during the night.

But when he opened it to check quickly, it wasn't his phone that made him stop and take a better look. Two envelopes did, both with Universities' logos.

Swallowing, Darren grabbed them and realized they were unopened. Chris hadn't even read the replies. How long had it been since they were hidden there? Why hadn't he told Darren about it?

Chris shifted and buried his face even deeper into the pillow. Darren looked at him, undecided about what to do. The letters seemed to burn his hands, the answers to their future so close and yet so far away at the same time…

"Chris…" He whispered, without being able to help it. He gently touched his boyfriend's shoulder. "Chris?"

"Mm…" the other boy groaned, turning his head the other way.

"Wake up," Darren said, a little louder.

With a deep sigh, Chris peeked up at him with a lazy eye. But even in his sleepy daze he was able to recognize what Darren was holding. He was awake in an instant. "Darren? W-what are you doing with those?"

"I was looking for my phone and found them," Darren replied. He sat up and faced Chris. "Why didn't you tell me you got them?"

Chris rubbed at his eyes, trying to gain a bit more of consciousness. "I was waiting until you got your USF letter."

Darren stayed silent, tossing the letters from one hand to the other.

"I'm sorry if it upsets you," Chris said, sitting up as well. "I just didn't want to know what was going to happen with me, but not know about you…"

"I'm not upset," Darren muttered softly. "I mean, I would've liked you to tell me when you got them, but… it's okay. It's your decision, after all."

"Do you want me to open them now?" Chris asked, feeling the nerves twisting in his stomach.

"I want you to open them when you're ready," Darren reached and stroked Chris' disheveled hair lovingly.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready," Chris shrugged. He took the letters from Darren. "What if I didn't get into either of them? What if I end up stuck here? Darren, I can't stay in Clovis. I just can't. I can't do this…"

The tears that started spilling down Chris' face broke Darren's heart and he immediately pulled his boyfriend into his arms. He hated seeing him like this, so scared and broken. Sometimes Darren forgot that Chris had had to live in his personal hell his entire life, not only a few months like Darren had. Getting out had to seem very surreal after dreaming about it for so long.

"Are you kidding me?" He said into his ear. "Chris, you're the most talented, intelligent guy I know. If you don't get into college, then all of us are doomed."

Chris fisted Darren's t-shirt in his hands, desperately. "But… what if it does happen?"

"Well, in the very unlikely event that every single person in the admission department of both USF and UCLA are morons, then I'll take you with me anyway," Darren kissed the top of his head. "I'll take you with me to Michigan or San Francisco or wherever it is I go."

Chris climbed into his lap and wrapped himself around Darren, knowing he would make him feel better. "And what would I do there?"

"Anything you want," Darren smiled into his chestnut hair. "You can write, or you can join a community theatre, or you can sing. You know, you're so special that I think you don't even need college to succeed, Chris. You're as amazing as that."

Chris smiled slightly. "You have to say that because you love me."

"I say that because I'm not blind or deaf or stupid and I can see you just the way you are," Darren assured him.

Chris looked up and sniffed. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I'll open them now," Chris reached for the letters he had dropped on the bed. "Just… stay with me while I do it, please?"

"I'm not planning on going anywhere," Darren wrapped his arms around Chris' waist and hooked his chin on his shoulder, so he could read the letters with him, too.

Chris opened the first letter, the one from UCLA, so slowly that Darren was glad he hadn't decided to hold his breath. He kissed his favorite spot on Chris' jaw while his boyfriend unfolded the paper inside the envelope to read it.

"Dear Mr. Colfer, we're happy to inform you that you have been accepted…" Chris stopped reading, swallowing. Darren could feel him shaking in his arms.

"Told you," he whispered into his ear.

"I got in," Chris muttered.

"You got in," Darren repeated, pride tainting every word. "Want to open the other one or do you want to wait?"

"I want to get this over with now," Chris exhaled loudly.

"Then let's do it," Darren said as he nuzzled his shoulder.

Chris' hands were shaking way too much now. "Can you do it for me?"

Darren bit his lip, but nodded. He took the letter from him and opened it just as carefully as Chris had opened the other one. Chris was frozen in his embrace, probably not even breathing, and his eyes were closed.

Darren started reading very slowly. "Dear Mr. Colfer," he paused and moved to whisper the next words right into Chris' ear, "you've been accepted into the University of…"

Darren never got to finish the sentence. He was suddenly tackled back onto bed and Chris was kissing him frantically, every kiss tasting salty because of his tears.

* * *

It was a relief, knowing his exit was certain. Feeling a lot more confident, Chris decided to attend USF, even if Darren didn't get in. He had fallen in love with the city and he needed that kind of acceptance around him. Besides, he knew Darren couldn't stay away from San Francisco, so maybe that would make him visit more often.

"As if I needed an excuse to go see you," Darren had snorted, as he snuggled closer to Chris when the boy told him about his decision. "I would visit you even if you went to school in the freaking North Pole."

Chris had laughed, but he had also snuggled against Darren, too, smiling.

He didn't want to think of possible goodbyes.

He didn't even want to think of _see you soon_'s.

* * *

As every morning, Chris arrived at Darren's house, parked near the entryway and honked to let him now he was there. Normally, Darren would take a few seconds to come out of the house, dragging his bag, still half-asleep, messy hair in his face. Sometimes Cerina would have to actually push him out the door.

This time, a whole minute passed without Darren showing any signs of coming out anytime soon. Chris honked again, frowning.

The door flew open and his boyfriend ran outside, barefoot, wearing only an old t-shirt and boxers. Chris' eyes went wide as he watched him approach.

And then he noticed the letter Darren was holding.

He climbed out of the car just in time for Darren to collide against him, holding him and bouncing and squealing all at the same time. Chris' heart started beating wildly and he really, really didn't want to jump to conclusions, but if this meant what he was hoping it meant…

"Darren!" It was Cerina, who was standing at the doorway. "Get back in here and put some clothes on, you crazy boy!"

Chris grabbed his arms and pushed him away a few inches. "Say it. Say it, Darren."

Darren seemed to be having trouble breathing, but the grin on his face was fucking _huge_. "I got my acceptance letter."

Chris swallowed hard, because he could feel the lump in his throat growing bigger and bigger. "We're going to San Francisco?"

"We're going to San Francisco!" Darren exclaimed and then he kissed his boyfriend right there and then, not even caring about the neighbors or his mother or anyone else in the world because he was going to move to San Francisco to go to college and Chris was going with him.

They couldn't tell for how long they kissed. They clung to each other and didn't want to let go.

Darren was the one to end the kiss, but didn't really move away. "Chris?"

"Yes?" Chris said with the brightest smile he'd ever worn on his face.

"Could you walk me inside?" Darren asked, biting his lip.

Chris frowned in confusion.

Darren tilted his hips forward.

"_Oh_."

"Yeah," Darren rolled his eyes. "It would be great if my mom didn't see me walking into the house with a boner."

"Oh my _God_, Darren," Chris exclaimed, letting his head fall on his boyfriend's shoulder to stifle his laughter.

There it was again, that rush of sheer happiness that he hadn't known until he had finally let Darren into his life.

His future suddenly seemed a lot more colorful.

* * *

They decided to skip prom. They weren't going to willingly attend a dance that would be infested with hate and disapproval. There were no regrets, though. They had better plans.

Darren bounced into Chris' house that Saturday night as soon as Chris opened the door. He had a blue tote bag hanging from his shoulder and he immediately lunched himself at his boyfriend, giving him a quick, noisy peck on the lips.

"Hi!"

"Hi, Darren," Chris laughed.

Darren looked down at Chris. "You look adorable."

Chris followed his gaze. He was wearing his favorite plaid blue pajamas. "Thank you, I guess. Would you like to change into yours?"

"I don't have any pajamas," Darren shrugged.

"And what were you planning to wear to our little sleepover?" Chris crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't know. I usually sleep in my underwear," Darren said nonchalantly, as if that didn't cause a thousand high voltage images to flash in Chris' head.

"You can't walk around my house in your underwear," Chris' voice was a lot more high-pitched than usual. He cleared his throat.

Darren smirked and winked at him playfully. "It's nothing you haven't seen before. In fact, you've seen what's under my…"

"Hi, Mom, Darren's here!" Chris interrupted, looking with wide eyes just past Darren's shoulder.

"Hello, boys," she said with a smile, that Darren returned immediately.

"Hi, Mrs. Colfer," he waved and Chris wondered to himself how it was possible that Darren could go from smug bastard to adorable goofball in less than five seconds.

"We cleared out the living room so you'll be more comfortable," Karyn explained. "And there's plenty of food in the kitchen if you get hungry."

"Awesome!" Darren grinned widely.

Karyn left and Chris turned back to his boyfriend, sighing. "I guess you could borrow some of my clothes..." He examined Darren with critical eye. He was sure all of his sweatpants would be entirely too long on him. "Go upstairs and find something you think it would fit you. I'll be in the kitchen grabbing some snacks and maybe then we can watch a movie?"

"Sounds like an excellent plan to me," Darren said, before leaning closer to kiss Chris quickly on the lips and then rushing up to Chris' bedroom.

Chris went into the kitchen and filled a bowl with chips and Cheez-Its. He took it to the living room, setting it down on the coffee table that had been moved slightly to the side so they could fit a couple of air mattresses between the couch and the TV stand. Then he went back to the kitchen to get some drinks.

After grabbing a can of Diet Coke for himself and a little bottle of apple juice for Darren, he decided to go through the movies to see if he could find something he was in the mood for, but he stopped in his tracks as soon as he crossed the entryway to the living room.

Darren was back and he was in pajamas.

Bright pink pajamas with the picture of a fluffy cat on the left side of his chest.

"What the…" Chris' eyes went wide as saucers.

"Aren't these amazing?" Darren bounced a little, smiling. "And they're so comfortable, too."

"Darren…" Chris put the drinks down carefully before looking back at his boyfriend. "Are you wearing my sister's pajamas?"

"Yes!" Darren answered and he smiled even _more_. How was that even possible? "She told me I could borrow them. She's a bit shorter than you so they fit perfectly!"

"I… I can see that," Chris blinked.

There was a pause. They stared at each other, Darren without losing his mad smile as Chris just _stared_.

"This is the gayest I've ever seen you look," Chris finally said.

"Just wait until we move to San Francisco, then," Darren threw a chip in the air and caught it in his mouth. "The last time I went to the Gay Pride Parade I painted a rainbow across my chest. It looked fucking awesome."

Chris blinked again. "How are you even _real_?"

Darren frowned, confused. It made him look adorable. Chris rolled his eyes and walked to his boyfriend, kissed his cheek and started looking through the DVD cases.

"What are you in the mood for?" Chris asked.

Darren grabbed a DVD and showed it to Chris with hopeful, puppy-dog like eyes. "Spider Man marathon?"

"Only if we can watch at least one Lord of the Rings movie," Chris said.

"Deal," Darren thrust the DVD into Chris' hands and ran to the mattresses, dropping down on them and reaching for the bowl with snacks.

Chris popped the movie into the DVD and then settled down next to Darren. His boyfriend wrapped an arm around him and they cuddled against the pillows, Chris' hand on Darren's chest feeling the steady beats of his heart.

They were halfway through the movie when Darren leaned closer, his lips grazing the shell of Chris' ear and softly whispered: "Best. Prom. Ever."

* * *

Days started getting a lot warmer and for the first time, Chris seemed to comprehen that the end of his senior year was just around the corner.

He was about to leave Clovis.

He was moving to San Francisco and his boyfriend was going with him.

At the beginning of the year, he would scream into his pillow every night to try to vent all the pain, the humiliation and fear he felt.

Now, he screamed into his pillow as he kicked his legs frantically, because his happiness was too big to hold back.

* * *

There was so much to plan, so many details to consider. Chris and Darren sat at lunch every day, making lists and discussing everything that they needed once they went to San Francisco.

They decided to live in campus in a dorm room the first year and, if their relationship was still going strong, to move in together to an apartment during their second year. That seemed so far away, though, and Chris secretly fantasized about the little, daily things he wanted to share with Darren: seeing their toothbrushes side by side in the bathroom every morning; listening to Darren sing in the shower; falling asleep in his arms every night; record one of those stupid, cheesy messages for their answering machine where they said something like '_hey, we're Chris and Darren, we are not home right now… or we are but we're too busy having sex… Darren!... what? It's true… Let me erase that, we'll record anoth-… beep!'_

But they were being smart. They were making sure their relationship wouldn't suffer through the changes and Chris was glad they were taking care of that. He was glad to see that it was important enough to both of them to be careful.

He already knew he wanted to be with Darren forever and seeing Darren taking whatever measures he could to make sure everything would be alright gave him hopes that he felt the same way.

Darren leaned over the binder where the kept everything organized as they ate their lunches. It was full of brochures and lists and other things they had been collecting for weeks. "So, we'll share the car and we'll divide the gas expenses, so we'll have to…"

A loud cry interrupted them, causing them to glance up in surprise, suddenly torn away from their little world. It took them a minute to realized it had come from Casey, who was hiding her face in Damian's chest and shaking violently because of her sobs.

"I-I didn't get i-into _any_ schools!" She wailed. "I applied to f-five and I j-just got the last rejection letter!"

Damian leaned to whisper something in her ear, probably some words of comfort, but she snapped back and away from him and smacked him on the arm.

"No!" Casey yelled. "Just because you're staying here and working for your dad doesn't mean that's what I want, too!"

They started arguing and, after a couple of minutes, Casey began to cry even harder and stormed out of the cafeteria. Damian didn't follow her. He looked annoyed and then shrugged and continued eating as if nothing had happened.

Chris and Darren exchanged glances, the San Francisco binder temporarily forgotten between them.

They probably should've repressed the little smiles tugging at their lips, but, for once, they felt like some sort of higher power had finally decided to put some balance in Clovis High. For once, it wasn't them who were suffering, it was someone who had made their lives miserable, someone who really, really deserved to stay in this hell in which Chris had had to learn how to survive in for years.

It felt like karma was working its magic.

They forgot about Casey and turned their attentions back to their future.

* * *

Chris looked at himself in the mirror for the millionth time.

_You can do this. Just take a deep breath. _

_I have Darren. Of course I can do it._

He adjusted the collar of his graduation gown once more and then walked out of his room, standing tall.

* * *

Scanning the crowd, it only took Chris two minutes to find Darren. He was the one with the cap that kept sliding off the mop of unruly hair on top of his head and who kept tripping over the hem of his gown. Chris knew Darren's mom had hemmed it up for him, but apparently it hadn't been enough.

Chris covered his mouth with his hand and chuckled affectionately as Darren quickly walked across the hall to meet him.

The grin on Darren's face was so big that it could've lit up the entire school. "Are you ready to do this?"

"So ready," Chris answered with a relieved sigh.

Darren leaned closer and kissed the tip of his boyfriend's nose. "Then, let's do it."

* * *

If you would've asked Chris about what had happened at the ceremony, he wouldn't have been able to answer. He didn't remember the speeches, or the moment when he'd walked up the stage to grab his diploma, or when they all threw their caps in the air.

He just remembered the warmth of Darren's hand in his the entire time.

* * *

There was a dinner that night at the Criss family home, in both of their honors. Chris' parents and sister were there, too, and they laughed and ate and celebrated for what felt like hours.

But, at the end of the night, it was just the two of them, out in Darren's backyard, lying on the grass and staring up at the dark, starry sky, like they had done once, months ago.

Their hands were linked between them, and Chris wasn't sure if they had stopped holding each other at all that day. Darren's thumb kept brushing back and forth over his knuckles and, for some reason, Chris found that quite soothing.

He closed his eyes, momentarily blind to the bright stars above them and took a deep breath. It was finally setting in. It was all over and he had come out of it alive, in love and happy, against all odds.

Darren's lips ghosted over his temple and Chris rolled a little on his side until he could rest his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, cuddling closer to him and letting the scent of Darren's skin and the grass fill his senses.

"Thank you," Chris whispered, softly.

Darren frowned as he wrapped his arm tightly around Chris. "Why are you thanking me?"

_For moving so close to me._

_For coming to the same school._

_For opening your locker that afternoon._

_For never giving up when I tried to push you away._

_For showing me a different world._

_For holding my hand when no one else wanted to take it._

_For seeing me._

_For loving me._

_For saving me._

"Just…" Chris' voice was a bit hoarse with emotion. He snuggled even closer. "Just thank you, Dare."

Darren smiled and placed several kisses to every inch of Chris he could reach: his hair, his forehead, his cheekbones, his eyelids, his nose. But he said nothing, because, at this point, words weren't necessary. They just held each other through the night, breathing together slowly, as if they were one, until the sun came out.

And even then, they didn't let go.

* * *

**So, there it is! I hope you guys liked it! Please, feel free to share your thoughs with me!**

**I'd like to thank my wonderful beta and amazing friend, Wutif for her endless help. If you still haven't read any of her stories, what are you doing with your life?**

**If you want to know what's next... then I'd tell you that you can expect my new Klaine fic to be up soon! :) I actually finished writing it a few hours ago and I'm really happy with it. It's a bit different, but I think you'd like it! It's called Bitter Pill. I hope you'll come back to check it out once it's up.**

**If you want to know when the next CrissColfer fic will be up, the answer is after Bitter Pill, so hang in there :)**

**If you want to come talk to me, find me in tumblr! My url is heartsmadeofbooks :)**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOR ALL THE LOVELY COMMENTS. I hope you enjoyed reading TOSOD as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**Until next time!**

**Love,**

**L.-**


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